When Gwyn has critically low hit points at the bottom of the Va’Lu’Rah hole, her young father puts her first while she gets a mysterious message directly from the cosmos. But when the kids on the Infinity get a strange message in calculator font, they decide to time travel to find Gwyn before it’s too late to save her. What does “it’s complicated” actually mean? Why can’t anyone get a ride on this show? Which name-brand director deserves a crack at Star Trek? It’s the episode that imagines Rok-Tahk’s coming of age.

When the Entrepreneur finds a tin can tumbling through space, they bring it aboard and start dropping things down its impossibly deep hatch. But when the Suliban and the Tholians both show up and start fighting over the pod, unknown future people finally collect their shit after which the NX-01 isn’t even worth a torpedo. When does an extra 5mm make a difference? Where else could you donate your body? Which shot is named after Christopher Walken? It’s the episode that just can’t get on the grappler’s level.

When Dal and the team crash on a wasteland version of Solum, they get imprisoned with Captain Chakotay and try not to mess up the timeline. But when the Protostar leaves Solum with two extra people aboard, Gwyn starts Back To The Futuring at a critical point in the Va'Lu'Rah. What’s the risk of sharing binoculars? Why aren’t there more puffers? Where will you never get a courtesy wave? It’s the episode that‘s way in the pocket of Starfleet pants.

When the Vulcans and the Andorians start fighting over the same shitty planet, Captain Archer gets called in on special diplomatic duty and no one really knows why. But when Shran releases a hostage and tries to open a conversation with Ambassador Soval, Suzie Plakson breaks rank and reveals she’s a war-hungry anti-Vulcite. Which superhero do you want at a sex party? Who is logicing like a fox? Will Shran ever sleep again? It’s the episode that got a little overcooked.

When Asencia pre-poisoned the well on Solum, Gwyn’s failed attempt at first contact leads her to a younger version of her father. But when Admiral Janeway arrives at the space hole only to hear from a creepy talking orb, a series of loud-mouthed gaffes by Dal results in a capital Dun Dun Dun into the anomaly. What’s the scariest thing humans have ever invented? How would we know if the rest o the universe is completely fucked up? Is the orb holding something in its little hand? It’s the episode that remains divided over whale penises.

When T’Pol is feeling a little green under the gills, Dr. Phlox starts telling professional lies to advance the treatment of her terminal condition. But when the Vulcans find out about her stigmatized status, there’s barely time to measure the man before one of their doctors blurts out both of their secrets. Which character is least likely to beat around a bush? What’s the number one thing about soap? Who is starting to make a pattern out of taking off his shirt? It’s the episode that somehow got the Australian dubs.

When Janeway calls upon our favorite crew members from the Protostar, they all drop what they're doing to join a new adventure. But when the kids realize the adults are keeping certain information and shuttle bays secret, they hatch a new cockamamie scheme and jump into the Jefferies tubes. Does Rok-Tahk sink or does she swim? How do you actually make money on YouTube? Does the "A" in Voyager-A stand for "ass"? It’s the episode that demands for the release of the Waltke cut.

When Commander Tucker gets shot down on a solo mission, there just happens to be a moon for him and his attacker to crash land on. But when they have to work together to get a message to the Entrepreneur, Captain Archer mounts a joint rescue operation and comes by his diplomatic success with the Arkonians honestly. Which classic 90s movie needs a punch-up? Why might Trip want to get more things done in his life? Is there something else you should always do before dinner? It’s the episode that goes hard on the R.

When Emperor Georgiou’s backstory doesn’t make her any more redeemable, getting pulled into a Section 31 mission gives her another chance to do the right thing. But when their assignment reveals a relic from her own destructive past, gruesomely killing her childhood boyfriend doesn’t exactly earn her atonement. Was there a code name for this movie during production? What are the mirror universe Borgs like? Why don’t strippers die when they jump off bridges? It’s the episode that just needed its heart to grow two sizes this day.

When the Entrepreneur’s entire crew compliment has to move into the ship’s nacelles, the dangerous storm and the lack of personal space puts everyone on edge. But when the alien visitors who warned them about the wave turn out to be AWOL deserters, the militia men trying to steal the ship almost take their game of pollo with Captain Archer too far. What’s an everyday thang for Dr. Phlox? Does Reed have a support animal? Which new subbasement of Archer’s character has now been explored? It’s the episode that’s only half Under Siege.

This episode is part of a project called the Star Trek Pod Crawl. We’re a group of Star Trek podcasts raising money for science education by banding together and making special episodes about some of our favorite Star Trek films. Join us in supporting the National Center for Science Education and check out all other great podcast episodes in this series by visiting StarTrekPodCrawl.com

When Commander Tucker gets voluntold to repair an alien cryo-chamber, the beautiful woman inside turns out to be both a prisoner and a prissy storybook princess. But when they make their escape and land on a bog planet, a roll in the mud gets them to a place of mutual affection. When is Archer a good captain? What’s the next step after the international sign for choking? Who is guilty of Bob Dylan decision making? It’s the episode that contains a Menk, a Padma, and a wolf.

A special presentation of Wholesome. It's about Dungeons & Dragons.

When Hoshi and Trip take their very first transporter ride, Commander Tucker goes first and Hoshi feels shaken up when she rematerializes on the ship. But when no one is listening and she starts to actually disappear, her extremely anxious dream logic reveals what she thinks about her colleagues. What special skill does Linda Park have on the back of her headshot? How much hot water is available on the NX-01? Which is the most dangerous prop ever seen on Star Trek? It’s the episode that makes residue info a very sad word.

When the Entrepreneur pulls up to a swirly space system, the radiation it emits strickens the crew with a variety of mundane obsessions. But when T’Pol is unaffected and has to navigate them out, Reed being his regular self makes it possible for them to escape. What’s Ro Laren’s favorite episode of Enterprise? Who is the Chief O’Brien of the NX-01? Why don’t Vulcans bowl? It’s the episode that leaves it the Greatest Gen way.

When Bill Tilley appears to ask Ben and Adam some hard-hitting questions from the Friends of DeSoto, f/m/k becomes issue one. But after Bill repeatedly crashes his 1987 Plymouth Turismo, the guys start to wonder if they should push him out of the driver’s seat. When will Ben reach terminal levels of Josh? Will there ever be another Borgs storyline? How much of Ben and Adam’s business acumen is bit based? It’s the episode that thinks of Alfred Molina as THE guy from Boogie Nights.

When an away team returns from a pre-warp field trip, Reed realizes he didn’t do an idiot check before loading back into the shuttlepod. But when they return for the communicator with predictably terrible OPSEC, getting punched in the face repeatedly make the potential for cultural contamination so much worse. What does D’rone have for breakfast every morning? How else is Commander Tucker like a bloodhound? Which host scraps nasty? It’s the episode that carefully considers the implications of a beaded curtain.

When a new batch of gremlins graphically burst out of Gizmo’s back, Billy and Kate do everything they can to keep them from overrunning the Clamp Center. But when some experimental mutagens create a bevy of mutant gremlins, they threaten to overrun the streets of New York City. Is bat gremlin the gremlin we deserve, and not the gremlin we need? What’s the business model for the animal testing facility? When do we get an Aliens vs Gremlins franchise? It’s the episode that needs 25% more Futterman.

When a secret mission from the Vulcan High Command brings another of T’Pol’s past lives into focus, Captain Archer acts like a petulant baby until she invites him along to help out. But once they find Menos on an icy moon, T’Pol’s pickle-brine memories test the developing trust between her and Archer. Where do Vulcans keep their information? What’s one thing everyone knows about seat belts? Which type of trivia is in short supply? It’s the episode that’s been harboring pickle resentment.

When the stakes couldn’t be higher for the crew of the Cerritos, Relga shows up and starts serving Star Trek V energy. But when the nearby Schrödinger field creates quantum fuckery on both sides, Malor’s irrigation-based solution turns the angry red hole into a beautiful gateway. Does Relga’s lack of boob window convey something specific about her character? Which words are we no longer comfortable using? What was probably on the whiteboard for this entire series? It’s the episode that also wants to light a mattress on fire.