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Baby in Missouri dies after mother mistakenly puts her in oven for nap
  • I also suffer from insomnia - I regularly get 3 hours of sleep per night, and rarely get more than 6 (rarely as in 1-2 times per month). For a week and a half or so, though, after a death in the family, I was getting between 0 and a half hour per night, with obviously no deep sleep.

    I developed severe ataxia (I couldn’t walk without a cane), I lost the ability to speak coherently and it would take me minutes to form a sentence. I couldn’t follow conversations, and my appetite decreased to the point where I was down to about 50-100 calories per day (eg, I could sometimes manage a can of coke).

    When your brain starts to shut down, things really go south pretty fast. I managed to kickstart things using those meal substitute drinks (which I’d consume by chugging it in one go), and eventually my eating and normal 3-6 hour sleep pattern came back, but I was probably about 24-48 hours away from needing an ambulance.

    Luckily I live with my partner and although I put them into a panic, I didn’t have to manage the house/pets and just took sick leave from work. Even after going back, it took some time to return to my normal level of working. At the peak, I would have been absolutely incapable of operating if I lived alone.

  • How to get started as a "side" on Grindr/Romeo?
  • First of all, you should do only those things you feel comfortable with. You should state your desires clearly so as to not mislead people, and that might lead to some missed opportunities, but you should lean into that and find it totally acceptable. If you get to feeling a weird vibe from a guy, you should just bail out. Consent is everything.

    You’re correct that oral sex is not risk free. Know where your comfort zone is and communicate that. You can also talk to your gay-friendly healthcare provider and see if they have particular advice or if there are any outbreaks of concern in your area.

    It’s okay to cuddle on the couch and see where it goes, but again I’d advise being super up front about what you’re looking for. A lot of younger and less experienced guys want to take things slow, and the people you hook up with should respect that. It’s not at all uncommon, but some guys will push or try to test your boundaries. Don’t let yourself get manipulated.

    I’d advise considering going on prep if you’re having sex, just because sometimes things get out of hand (so to speak), and you don’t want to have those regretful worries. Again, a gay-friendly healthcare provider can give you more specific guidance and set your expectations. Of course, you have to realize that it’s only about HIV, and there’s a ton of other STDs to think about. It’s a good idea to get screened for STDs regularly if you’re sexually active unless you’re in a strictly monogamous relationship.

    It’s also a good idea to just get friends and a social network in the community. At some point, everyone will have had sex with everyone else, and things are a lot more comfortable when you’re all part of the same social circles. You can still hook up with strangers, but having your go-to people can really help.

  • How to meet people
  • Okay, this post is only an hour old but it already has a ton of replies. I reallly hope you see this, though. I’m going to GBF you for just a couple of minutes.

    First of all - girl, seriously? 40 year olds go out all the time for drinks. You should try going out with friends so you can keep an eye on each other, but every bar go to is filled with people our age. I’m ten years older than you, and I in no way feel like an old man in a bar. If you have a next day recovery concern, just limit yourself, or go on the weekends. Just make sure you’re taking an Uber and if you’re doing solo yolo let a friend know where you’re going and let them track your phone or something.

    Second, apps can be toxic but they can also be gamed. You’re looking for a silver fox type, maybe with a bit of a dad bod is my guess. Put out for some headshots or other pro photos. There’s even a lot of amateur photographers who you might be able to find on insta who would be happy to do a quick session for a modest amount of money. Do yourself a favor and get a serious makeover and some new outfits first, because it will make you feel like your best self.

    Third, it’s okay to just be looking to get dicked down even while looking for something serious. Don’t hang everything on finding your next life partner if you really are just craving physical affection.

    There are tons of 40+ men who are single due to similar circumstances to yours. They’re at bars, and they go to concerts at local venues. They’re probably not going to be at the clubs the 20-something’s go to, but they have their own territories.

    It really sounds like you have to see yourself as your best self, and up your game with that confidence.

  • Analyse This: the transformational power of queer-affirmative therapy
    apple.news The transformational power of queer-affirmative therapy - from patients whose lives have been changed — GAY TIMES

    In an effort to bridge the gap between the LGBTQIA+ community and the mental health care they deserve, psychotherapists Dr Meg-John Barker and Dominic Davies coined the phrase GSRD (Gender, Sexual and Relationship Diversity) therapy - here's where to find it.

    The transformational power of queer-affirmative therapy - from patients whose lives have been changed  — GAY TIMES

    Edit: Non Apple News link. Sorry about that - they make it a real pain in the ass to extract the actual link.

    Cheers, queers!

    I’d like to start posting content and making this a good destination space. I don’t think even reddit, as big as it was, had a really good space for talking about our issues or celebrating our successes. I’m not going to rehash the community fragmentation or other issues there.

    I’m going to try to start posting here, focusing on community discussion kinda of articles. As far as I can tell, this is the most active queer community on lemmy, thanks to the singular efforts of stamets. I admire his commitment to the community and want him to know I’m behind him in any way needed.

    One note - a lot of my article discovery is through Apple News. Supposedly, the links should just redirect you to the regular website if you’re not a user. I’m hoping this works for you all.

    1
    I put on some makeup

    On nights like this When the world's a bit amiss And the lights go down Across the trailer park I get down, I feel had Feel on the verge of going mad Then it's time to punch the clock:

    I put on some make-up Turn on the tape deck And put the wig back on my head Suddenly I'm Miss Midwest Midnight Checkout Queen Until I go home, and I put myself to bed

    John Cameron Mitchell, you make me feel seen and I will love you forever.

    0
    Happy National Coming Out Day!

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Coming_Out_Day

    > National Coming Out Day (NCOD) is an annual LGBT awareness day observed on October 11 to support anyone "coming out of the closet". First celebrated in the United States in 1988, the initial idea was grounded in the feminist and gay liberation spirit of the personal being political, and the emphasis on the most basic form of activism being coming out to family, friends, and colleagues, and living life as an openly lesbian or gay person.

    https://www.hrc.org/campaigns/national-coming-out-day

    0
    Elton John and Ian McKellen lead backlash over Braverman’s call to crack down on gay asylum seekers
    www.independent.co.uk Elton John leads backlash over Braverman call to crack down on gay asylum seekers

    Rocket Man issues rocket for home secretary as senior Tories warn Sunak: ‘Suella has lost us millions of pink votes’

    Elton John leads backlash over Braverman call to crack down on gay asylum seekers

    Question for the UK LGBT community: This article makes it sound like the pink vote is significant to the Tories. As an American, I’m having a really hard time imagining how that comes about. I’d accuse it of being slanted, but it quotes a number of Tory MPs who are publicly and strongly criticizing the statement.

    In the US, the LGBT vote is pretty overwhelmingly Democratic. There’s a small group that support republicans, but it’s very rare - to the point it’s something worthy of notice and a point of contention.

    So, is the portrayal in this article accurate? What are the politics over there? I’ve been active politically since the days of ACT UP, so I know what things are like over here, but I’m completely stunned by what they’re presenting about the political alignment over there.

    10

    The article points out that this republican politician and businessman, Cory Tomczyk, is suing a non-profit news site for reporting on his use of the slur towards a 13 year old boy. Although he lost his suit, he is appealing the decision. This suit has already cost the news site $150k.

    How do these lawsuits not fall under SLAPP laws?

    4
    www.lgbtqnation.com Lawyer says teen accused of stabbing gay man to death is “a good Christian boy”

    The suspect's mother said her son goes to church so he couldn't have committed the alleged anti-gay hate crime...

    Lawyer says teen accused of stabbing gay man to death is “a good Christian boy”

    It could not be more obviously a hate crime. I hope they go after anyone who was shielding him or lying for him as well.

    3
    InitialsDiceBearhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearhttps://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/„Initials” (https://github.com/dicebear/dicebear) by „DiceBear”, licensed under „CC0 1.0” (https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/)FR
    FriendOfElphaba @sh.itjust.works
    Posts 6
    Comments 92