I have really long eyelashes and I hate them but godamn have they saved my eyes during fingernail clipping sessions like a million times.

IRS agent: You have thousands of dollars of overdue taxes

Me: This too shall pass

I had a really similar thing to to me when I was 8, I remember rushing to the toilet to poop and as soon as the door closed i filled my pants. I tried cleaning it up then went back to play with my friend and his little brother. His grandma then came into the room and was like "Did little brothers name poop his pants?" Then checked, I'm pretty sure she just left after that too lol.

Everytime I finally go through my saved posts again it's like uncovering a treasure trove of cool stuff

So dangerous nobody even knows what it looks like

Honestly I print like that too, but to be fair I've only printed things out like 5 times from back in primary school

Is this that girl that Biden took the black out of in 2023?

Ketchup and tomatoes are like completely different tastes though

Don't even get me started on how addicting water is! I know people who can't even go a few hours without it.

Isn't the downvkte button just another way of showing that you disagree?

Hmmm yes I will make sure to stop having sex with my great abundance of girlfriends

If you can't avoid an Infrared Homing AGM-65 Maverick Missile should you really be on the road?

That's not an opinion it's a fact 🤓☝️

I just had a very delicious bowl of spaghetti, mind you!

I think most people would agree with this besides the people who are doing this themselves.

Merry marriage aniversery

"I've successfully activated their RAM and gotten into the mainframe, now we just need to bypass the CPU and de-activate the motherboard"

Why'd you assume we're talking about women?

That's kinda sexist of you if you ask me

Until it gets to the fat person at least

Ironic that he's pulling the misogyny card when it's sexist itself to assume that the meme was referring to woman