Had a therapy session today where my therapist asked 10x how my boyfriend's recent romantic actions made me feel and it took a lot of guidance to get to "loved". That shit is wild for someone who lived a life without it.
For people with c-ptsd or ptsd, it can be especially hard to view human interaction without any distortions. Good luck to you (and anyone else who needs it :)
first off, not all of them like being called "it" or "trap"
Note to self: some of them like being called āitā or ātrapā
Had a woman on a dating app spend 3 months convincing me to go on a date with her. I was like, "this is fake." and she was like "is it that impossible of an idea that someone would want to spend time with you?" I finally met her. we ended up sleeping together.... like immediately. I didn't want to, but went along with it because I didn't want to make her feel bad by rejecting the idea (despite the fact I already did once). The next day I felt used, like sleeping with me was all she wanted. Ended up not ghosting, but going so cold on communication I might as well have. She ended up feeling used as well, and moved on quickly.
Moral of the story? I dunno. I'm working on it. stopped trying to date after that and a near-firing incident at work, just been doing the depression work from home shuffle for 6 months. But I've started dieting/working out again, so that's nice.
Pro-Tip: you're worthy of love, despite what you tell yourself.
I don't really think I'm traumatized but I have the same thing as soon as someone I don't know quite well says something nice to me.
It might very well be trauma but the building blocks of the affection related issues are often based in the 0-3 years of age. Your mother left you with someone else for a week? You will have trust issues for life.
I'm pretty sure that hands away to hit me still... years of figuring out why it happened and why they couldn't stop themselves didn't really change anything, I'd thought finding that out would fix it, only a little part of it really. Still working on it, we all get through it eventually,
