S/O told me to go touch grass, what do I do?

We're currently flooded the grass is underwater.

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Amazon has scuba gear. You can always sit inside until it arrives. Choose the snail mail option.
- The new plan is to grow a patch of grass next to me desk. and then when someone tells me to touch grass, I simply reach over and pet it.
Get your scuba diving gear out, bucko.
- Well a blizzard came and the water froze. Now what?
  
  Get your ice skates out, bucko.

7 comments