Possibly the wrong place, but personal server questions
I'd like to set up a personal cloud, probably through a vps to start. However, I'd also like to move my domains to the same server. It's been well over a decade since I did any server admin style work, so in technology years I'm old as feck.
What are my best options to look into as far as privacy/security/reliability/price for a vps? What are my best options to allow friends and family to mindlessly backup their data to our private cloud (if such a thing exists)? I'm looking for cross platform support and the ability to host multiple websites.
Another vote for hetzner. I'd even recommend their hosted nextcloud instances, because they're a pretty good value and you don't have to mess with it.
Otherwise, i've had good dealings with virmach, and they have 'cloud vps' offerings with very little compute power, but a lot of storage for an inexpensive price.
I'd also recommend biting the bullet and figuring out docker and docker compose at the get go, because it's the way people do things these days, and it's that way for a.whole lot of very good reasons.
Another vote for the Hetzner hosted nextcloud instances (which they call Storage Share, do not confuse with Storage Box which is a FTP/SFTP/WebDAV/whatever... service).
I self hosted NC in a VPS for years and not having to worry about the updates/backups is a blessing. Having used Hetzner for more than 2 years, even the smallest plan works flawlessly, and you can use several domains or subdomains to segregate your users.
set up a firewall so that the only ports that are open are the ones you want to have open. I like ufw (uncomplicated firewall).
you might also look into fail2ban.
Backups will really depend on what kinds of devices your friends and family are using. Remember, above all, that if you take on that responsibility, you may get blamed in case of data loss. I backup data for myself and my spouse, but that's about all the responsibility I want to take on (and about all the tech support I'm interested in providing too).
Thank you for the advice and for directing my research a bit.
My immediate family is quite large, and I'm already tech support. Outside of family I stopped doing tech support many years ago when I closed my computer repair business. I'm comfortable assuming the responsibility of their data, and I'd feel better knowing it's in our control and not the mercy of large corporations.
One thing that's really easy to do is to set up a low-resource "Dropbox". Just install Syncthing on the server and sync all devices to the server, using it as a hub. You can have many different Syncthing folders on the server and assign one to each family member.
Another low-resource service I self-host is Radicale, which provides calendar and contacts syncing through caldav and carddav.
ownCloud is probably something to check out. Or their competitor, Nextcloud. I haven't used either, but they've been around a decent amount of time. I think ownCloud was a thing when I was last doing VPS stuff in 2016, so I'm also out of practice.
Linode used to be the premiere VPS provider, but recently made changes to the service or plans. I think they were acquired? A dev who I listen to on some podcasts talked about how he was gonna have to make changes to his business because of stuff after changes rolled out on Linode, so keep that in mind if you end up reading forum posts from >6mo ago recommending Linode.
I've heard both of those suggested quite often. I've been researching those a bit, especially from when they split from each other on. I was curious to speak to an actual user about their experiences, or if there are other alternatives
I personally use and recommend nextcloud. I choose it due to licensing (nextcloud is 100% open source, whereas owncloud has an open source edition with the enterprise edition being propietary).
Besides that, the main difference between owncloud/nextcloud is that owncloud feels more "enterprise" oriented and offers its professional service as a 1st party SaaS, while nextcloud offers the service mostly through partners (like Hetzner, Ionos, Fujitsu...). However in both companies the 1st party services are quite "big" and expensive for most of us mere mortals (minimum of 25/100 users, with pay per user). You probably will have enough with self-hosting or 3rd party providers.
Also although in the past it took a while for nextcloud to really differentiate itself from owncloud and gain traction, currently nextcloud development moves REALLY fast, which is a great thing for its capabilities (but a bit of extra work and headache to maintain a self hosted instance up to date), and the software has improved drastically in the past years.
From what you are describing, hosting your own nextcloud seems to fit your needs perfectly. Since you also seem to need websites, maybe a VPS instance with tons of storage where you deploy and manage your own service? If you go this way, as other have commented, I would recommend learning and using the docker images, since they will make your life easier in the long run, and will help with the websites/nextcloud living together happily in harmony.
However, for security, I personally recommend to separate the hosting and nextcloud services. I use a managed nextcloud instance (for ease of mind: someone else takes care of the updates, back-ups and security of my storage), and then the website hosting in a different service, so if I make a mistake in my web server I don't risk my personal or family files. I have experience and currently recommend Hetzner for the NC instances (Storage Share), but also have worked successfully with Scaleway using a compute instance to self-host nextcloud, linking it to their Object Storage for the filesystem.
With NC you can create subdomains, assign users and set quotas, define what they can do or not (like for example, sharing files or folders outside of the instance, for how long, allow public uploads...), lock down the instance with 2FA and IP filtering... Nextcloud is really customizable, and has a lot of possibilities if you want to extend it through the apps (like collaborative document editing, or audio/video conference). I have used it for several years with the clients in Linux, Android, Windows, and once you configure it as you want, it simply works.