General support post
General support post
The weight of living with chronic illness is getting to me again. Could use some empathy from others who understand and won't pressure me to explain what's going on (a dozen small triggers maybe), turn it into their problems, or tell me it will get better or the worst, "Stay strong."
We've all been here so here's a place where we can sit with each other.
When I'm really struggling it's annoying to have people call me strong or resilient. I mean technically I am strong but it feels like a curse. I don't want to be strong. I want it to be easier.
The worst one, though, THE WORST, is when they say "I don't know how you do it/live like this."
Uuuuhhhh, if I had a choice I wouldn't. I wouldn't do it. I have no choice. The only way out is through.
I hear you.
I get it. No pressure here. Just solidarity.
Thank you <3
Can I vent a little in your behalf? I'm in a good place now, so it won't sip my energy.
I would put the variation "you're strong" together with the other wannabe advices. They don't help anyone. If you are having a bad day, or specially bad bad day, you need to act accordingly. People should learn how to give your space to be down and not try to yank you out of it the moment you stop pushing.
Yes, I don't need to be strong. I need people around who will help in the ways I need, rather than their ways they need to give, so I can be weak and rest for a bit.
Glad you're in a good place. Those are precious <3
Yup. It sucks.
Haul out your guitar and play a little. If you aren’t up for playing, just tune it. There are plenty of days where all I do is tune, which can be pretty satisfying in and of itself. Accomplishment!
(I really dig your “E minor” chord - awesome bit of punning)
My guitars were part of another life. I had to give up playing in order to continue working and even now I struggle with hand pain and that sort of fine motor control. But thanks for the compliment on my visual pun.
I'm in the same club. Have been having a rough patch recently but spend today watching a funny movie and learning a little which made me feel a bit more positive. How is your day going? Anything interesting going on?
Been out of sorts, which is probably more physical affecting emotions than emotions affecting physical. Have been rewatching a favourite comedy drama but am getting more caught up in the drama than the funny parts. Interesting how differently I'm reacting to it this time through. Started a new one that's currently airing so I can participate in online conversations. Hopefully I'll get on with it.
I read some reasearch recently that talked about how emotions are strongly interrelated with physical state unlike thoughts, which helped me make a little bit more sense of what is going on.
What are you watching right now? I struggle with Friends/Community/The Good Place for the same reason. I like the parts where they just have fun and do interesting things but then everything gets mixed in with interpersonal drama that makes me feel uncomfortable.
If it's your cup of tea, there's a TV series called 'Clarkson's Farm' about Jeremy Clarkson trying to run his farm which I found to be touching and soothing in a way :)
I'm here, and I both relate and hear you.
lately I've taken to trying to get sun. I can't handle the over-stimulation of my house with my light on, so I turn it off and open a window instead. it's really helped me, even though it's a small thing. my desk is by my window, so that probably contributes.
I've been trying to work on taking walks too. I have four dogs (not by choice, although I love them all, my situation means that my two dogs are now living with two others) in the house, so sometimes they come with me, but I try to spend some time alone. occasionally I listen to podcasts but mostly music. I tend to avoid my thoughts via escapism, which I indulge a little too much in, admittedly. but it's a coping skill I've always had and am not willing to give up.
I guess my point is I wanted to share, not to brag, but to show that taking small steps (sorry for the pun), for me, has helped. it's not always going to help, and I can't always try, but right now things are okay and I'm going to take that. it's also been helping me to use a therapy skill, basically just naming one good thing that happened that day. if you can share it with someone, even better.
what have you done to cope in the past? if you don't mind me asking. I'm sorry if this comes off as too much.
30+ years into coping with these things, my most effective and main strategies are good sleep practices; nutritional (making sure I eat regularly and healthily, supplements because my body doesn't process enough from food, and minimizing things like sugar and caffeine); trying to minimize stresses (some are easy, like caffeine, others not, like the state of world and society); and recognising when i need radical rest. As in really not doing much of anything, which is boring AF.
ayyy 30+ year old club.
I've started to get better about eating things that are better for me, but it's been a struggle due to texture issues. and I definitely relate on minimizing stress being easier in some cases and harder in others.
I have a really hard time with radical rest (that's the first time I've seen it called that, too) both because it's boring and because I feel like I have to keep doing something (anything) to feel like my day was productive. it clashes a lot with the times I can't get myself to function.