How do you get along with fellow autistic people?
How do you get along with fellow autistic people?
From what I understand, every autistic individual is unique and different from one another, right?
We probably all have different traits from each other anyway, so it might make sense to learn more about each other in order to get along.
What are your own thoughts about this matter?
I get along with other autistic people about the same way I see non autistic get along with other non autistic people.
I find that I am able to connect with most of autistic people just fine. Communication is fairly natural. I don't have to dedicate a whole lot of energy when hanging out with these folks. If I'm not close friends with them, I can still spend some time with them and enjoy it in most cases. Every autistic person is different of course. Some are assholes. Some are nice.
I have a few in mind that just absolutely grate on me, though. One in particular will interrupt you while you are talking. They say they can't help it, but it does make me lose my train of thought and then I forget what is going on. And if you have a hard time keeping up with them (due to sensory overload), they will say you're not worth talking to and exclude you from the group. I find this person very difficult to get along with and very strongly dislike it when they show up to gatherings I'm at. I don't meet many autistic people I dislike a lot, though.
To contrast with non autistic people, I find it very difficult to communicate with them. I struggle with remembering context and subtext and have to take a lot of energy to constantly include this in my listening. I feel like an alien trying to communicate with the humans. A fair amount of people don't have the patience to talk to me or know me as more as an acquaintance, but there are a handful that don't mind my shortcomings. My friends that are not autistic, I like but it is far more exhausting to talk to them.
I relate to this so much
I'm au-dhd, and the person in the middle paragraph sounds like they both have one of my ADHD symptoms and are also a jerk. I try to remember that only my ADHD friends like to play interrupting tag, and while I'm bound to screw up elsewhere, I try to treat it clearly like I'm screwing up because it is an understandable default to let people finish their sentences.
Definitely! I know I screw up sometimes and I apologize because it is my bad for doing that, not their bad for having some trouble with it. We typically give each other grace. I know other interrupters that are not like the person in my previous comment, it wasn't my intention to paint them all like that.
This person treats it like your problem though. I used them as an example because I felt like it highlighted the fact that autistic people (or ADHD, or anyone with a disability really) can still be a jerk or a bad friend, even factoring in a reasonable amount of understanding for things they can't control.
I always wondered why autistic people felt so comfortable around me and wanted to be friends with me. Well, now I know haha
I didn't realise I did until I paid more attention to my existing friends... who are mostly on the spectrum too. We're all different in our ways, some I can spend more time with than others. Because of our different makeups, yes, I would say all the people I know are different from one another, with traits I admire and ones I can struggle with, just the same as me really.
Usually we vibe but if they aren't as good at masking as I am they can be a bit cringe. I get a bit freaked out around people who seem like they are bad at masking since just being near them feels like I risk being part of some social embarrassment if they say the wrong thing too loud or make a scene. In private contexts we all good though.
I get along with Autistics better, but mainly because we cope with social situations in a similar way.
In my case, we play a lot of board games and video games. We can socialize without requiring smalltalk or eye contact. If there is no such activity planned, we don't get together, and nobody is offended.
Same here. Its really good to know the other people in the room get you. something I missed all my life.
When I've met up with other autists irl, we mostly spent the whole time talking about our special interests and how weird the NTs are. I think it just makes intuitive sense to most of us to define our community by the stuff we all have in common.
I feel like I get along fine with autists in person but online is like a knife fight where everyone gets cut.
Splendidly. All my friends are neurodivergent. I generally find non-nd people way too boring to hang out with.
And there you are again. Like the friendly neighborhood spiderman casually walking in. Great to hear you‘re also positive about being ND. Have a good one.
I get along better with autistic people who I can relate to better. Same with non-autistic people.
However, I can't stand autistic people who have no filter. Might sound weird, but there is a difference between unmasking in a way that benefits you versus unmasking and being a jerk about it.
I just infodump them and try to be friendly as I do with everybody else (I usually goes better with neurodivergent people xd)
I talk with autistic mainly online, and online I unmask. So I'd say pretty poorly
Despite being 41 y/o, I've never been married. Still, I had one relationship with a partner that was 5-6 years long, and I still maintain friendly contact with her. We can spend hours talking on the phone despite that I generally hate talking on the phone. I jokingly refer to her as my exwife. Now, that I know what to look for, I'm certain she's autistic. My favorite friends are autistic as well. They speak just like me. They have cool obsessions with interesting topics just like me. They share similar confusions with social matters just like me. I think I just get along better with us because we understand each other on a deeper level. I have no anger or judgement towards NTs, and I have NT friends that are great people with admirable characteristics and contributions. Nobody is better or worse. However, when it comes to developing that deep friendship bond, I seem to mostly do it with us.