I think you'll find that when you have what you need and dissolving that which you need not, there's way less room for crap like racism and the -phobias
What trauma? listening to Jordan Peterson? If being rejected makes you hate women, then you were an entitled asshole to begin with. Nobody is owed affection, companionship, or romance.
This attitude is an insult to lonely men people everywhere, who everyday cope with romantic failure without regressing into a chud. Incels are deplorable people; fuck 'em.
I can see that. These guys don't know how to date/flirt etc they didn't have the same milestones others kids did. They should have learned when everyone in their cohort was learning. Imagine if you didn't learn the fundamentals of any subject but had to keep going to harder and harder levels. End up with the dating mind of a 13 year old trying to deal with 23 year olds. Of course you need experience to get experience like a fucking zen riddle so they fall even further behind. Partners don't want to deal with the awkward insanity of a boy in a man's body.
To be honest, dating 20+ is a shit show. The things i learned about dating in my teens didn't help me dating in my 30's. Sure they have issues dating but we all do. It's the willingness to learn, adapt, and care for someone else that i don't see in incels and that isn't learned from dating in your teens. They seem to blame outside forces for their issues and not seek to improve themselves
Well for me it made a big difference. I don't think me and my wife would have stayed together had it not been for other woman I had dated prior. Learned how to have an argument, how to show random acts of kindness, gotten the nerve up to tell them when they are hurting you unintentionally, etc. This stuff didn't come naturally to me.
Partners don’t want to deal with the awkward insanity of a boy in a man’s body.
nor should they be required to; the enormous amount of work we put on women to make relationships work is already crushing. This reminds me of the screeds about how "liberal women will need to compromise for the good of the demographics of the country, they'll need to date conservatives of course!" - THEY REALLY THINK THIS SHIT. They feel they're being DISCRIMINATED against for their views hahahaha, that's how fucked up they are. https://www.nationalreview.com/magazine/2021/07/12/political-discrimination-as-civil-rights-struggle/
“liberal women will need to compromise for the good of the demographics of the country, they’ll need to date conservatives of course!” - THEY REALLY THINK THIS SHIT.
I think I know where this argument is coming from, but it's a gross misrepresentation of what was actually said. Neither of your links support that anyone thinks this is the case. In fact, from the very conservative one, even without having access to the full article, they very explicitly note, after having said that only 6% of college women would date a trump supporter "While people are free to discriminate however they wish in dating, this attitude bleeds into problematic spheres such as hiring and social toleration." It's clear that they are trying to make the argument that this dating bias is an indication of a deeper bias. It's still dumb, but I've yet to hear anyone of merit actually argue "liberal women will need to compromise for the good of the demographics of the country, they’ll need to date conservatives of course!"
Try interacting with women without the expectation of an intimate relationship. And I don't mean "be friends for a while with the end goal of getting with them". I think a big issue is seeing women as an achievement instead of as people.
Hey man, I had some of the same anxieties about being a late bloomer, never finding a girl, not knowing what to do if someone showed interest etc. This will probably not be new advice to you, but here we go:
No matter how old you are, it‘s never too late to start things. Go out and have some fun, socialize with women, try dating, do hobbies with women involved etc. Invest in yourself, have a basic level of hygiene and dress socially acceptable. At some point you will find someone who is into you, and if you are open and up front about your lack of experience, they will probably overlook most of the early dating blunders.
Just don’t go into it all with the expectation that something has to happen, or that if you do the right things someone has to be into you. It’s ok to fail, it’s ok to be awkward, you learn a lot from it.
If you wanna talk privately about this stuff, shoot me a dm.
Even though we all knew that stuff falls to the ground if you leave it unsupported, we still needed someone to gather some scientific data, find reasons why and prove that gravity exists. That’s just how science works.
I wonder if this outlook is more a sign that these people need some help getting started and in a productive tradjectory. Pretty sure this would be me if I hadn't gotten laid+decent-pay, and had to live with family/random people, never having anything of my own...
I don't know about that. I was pretty fine before my first. Place of your own and decent pay. Yeah. everyone needs that. Adults should be able to at a minimum have an efficency of their own while being able to pay at least minimal bills and if they split a multibedroom with roommates or rent out a room from a house they should be able to have a bit more spendy of a life. That should be the minimum and be easy to get. Not something you have to work hard to achieve.
I feel like you were mildly pushing back then ended up convincing yourself to the point you basicaly agree. Not that I want people to not be able to be satisfied even if they have to share a place, I'm just way to eclectic and crave freedom the moment the lock goes click lol
I mean there's so many underlying issues with incels and trying to overcome learned helplessness is no small task. But an idea that helped me was that there is either a problem with me and what I'm doing, or there's a problem with all women. One of those issues I can take steps to try and improve, the other is completely out of my control and nothing I do will ever change that.
If you are incapable or unwilling to go through an honest introspection of yourself then things will never change for you imo.