The struggle

I've recently been trying out living vegan, mostly on the basis of "Why not?". I'm lactose-intolerant anyways and supermarkets have plenty vegan foods around here.

Problem is, when I say "recently", I actually mean multiple years ago and I'm at the point where randomly eating non-vegan food can throw my body into unforeseen consequences, so I avoid it nonetheless.

Well, my parents came to visit this week and we went to this bakery place, which also has options for lunch.
Last time we were there, I ate a bun with a salad without the dressing, because they didn't have just vinegar+oil dressing.

Which is a sorry excuse for a lunch, but the best they have, so this time, I went to order the same. But then the lady behind the counter told me that they didn't have salads today, and asked whether I want something else instead.
So, I evaluated my options – sorry, not plural – there was only one option: I guess, I'll have another bun with my bun.

Fucking hell.

Like, I kind of don't care. I went home afterwards and cooked myself much nicer food than my parents got.
But just the look from that lady, as I basically told her, I literally do not want any of the other foods you have in stock. I'd rather eat two dry buns, even though I just wanted a salad.

So, yeah, I wish just some fucking iceberg lettuce on bread was always an option.

- Gluten free should also be wheat free, though, right?
- At that point… I’m not sure it’s worth eating out. That’s pretty tricky.
- Interesting. So you can eat the gluten from wheat as long as it's washed out of everything else? What are you allergic to in wheat then, to the starch?
Why not just get a bakery item instead?
- I'm not sure, what you mean. I did get a bakery item with my second bun.
  Well, I had to simplify a lot, because English has no word for the Laugenstange:
  It's basically a very long lye bun. Or a pretzel shaped like a half-sized baguette.
  It's one of the least dry bakery items there is, but it's still very doughy and kind of does the opposite to your digestion than a salad...

That'll be $32, please.

Missed opportunity to have it be an onion

It do be like that fr

where's the lie

That's hilarious, in an extremely disappointing way.
For many many years, Subway had a "veggie delight" sub that was basically vegetables with sauce. Nowadays around here the veggie patty became vegan, and they introduced meatless teriyaki. But I wish I could talk with whoever thought back in the day that a baguette with salad and sauce was a proper meal you could sell people without shame.

Just lettuce have nice food 😫

At least it’s not a honeymoon salad. That’s just lettuce alone.

Mate, that's the onion.

No, that's lettuce.
I think, they're saying the satire hits a little too close to home...