The more I see from this sub, the more I think I need a diagnosis lol. Idk if I really want to change my brain though, what if I get more productive but level out and lose creative drive?
what if I get more productive but level out and lose creative drive?
that is not how it works, unless being more productive inherently makes you lose creative drive for some reason. also being diagnosed doesn't mean you have to "change your brain"
increased productivity allows me to spend way more of my time actually doing the creative stuff than i do with worse productivity
Getting diagnosed, it might be an eye opening experience. Symptoms and connecting them to your own personal life, like no shit I'm a walking talking barely dysfunctional bag of flesh but this explains why.
I'd say it depends on how you think it's affecting your life*. Everyone has some symptoms of adhd the difference is the full picture and your ability to control it. Nobody likes boring tasks and everyone has trouble with motivation, at some level it becomes symptomatic of adhd but the way to figure that out is through a doctor and trying different treatments.
*interesting thing about what's classified as a mental illness is that it needs to have a negative effect on your life. There's debate about things like narcissism being an "illness" because often it actually helps the person succeed, and they would never think of themselves as being negatively affected by it. If our society rewards a condition like this, what does that mean for classification of mental illness and how medicine is practiced? Similar questions apply to adhd, I had a job that exploited my adhd very well for a long time and figured if I had it then whatever that's just me. It wasn't until it was a serious issue that I decided I actually need to figure out if I have it and try something.
I’m pretty sure “lazy” is just an ableist view of adhd. I’m struggling to get out of the mindset that I’m simply a lazy piece of shit, and instead view my “laziness” as a result of poor dopamine regulation in my brain and something that can be coped with, not just relented to.
I did read the second half, but I was also thinking about other stuff by then. So my eyes read it, but it never made it to my mind. Not clear whether I have ADD, though.
I finally got a preliminary diagnosis days ago from my family doctor after learning about inattentive 2 years ago and thinking "oh jeez that me," but for life have joked that I probably have some kind of adhd, and had a career and lifestyle that accommodated it reasonably well. What changed was progressing in my career and the responsibilities of daily life, and my many many tricks not being as effective. I was always able to skirt by and being a "smart kid" caused it to go unnoticed and allowed me to just barely exert enough effort to succeed.
When I finally decided to book an appointment to get the ball rolling, I got one within 2 days, and had a month of lisdexamphetamine 30mg to try within an hour after the appointment, and a followup booked with a task to keep a journal of noticable changes. Amphetamines are basically the only class of drug I've never tried recreationally or been prescribed. I knowingly took the first one later in the day than I should have cause I couldn't wait to try it, but after feeling the effects for the first time during the day in to the evening I didn't even mind that I couldn't sleep. The feeling is like a blanket of calm energy and I've been amazed at how immediate it was and what I've already been able to do just by the 3rd day taking it. Some of this could be me expecting it to do these things and will see how the whole month goes but it's already such a difference.
Don’t forget that titrating is super important (figuring out the precise dose that’s optimal for you… too much or too little can sometimes be worse than nothing at all)
But yeah, meds are a freaking miracle, and amphets dont take days to build up, they’re are in and out of your system within hours, so you do get the full effects fast.
Yesterday I took my full dose, and forgot how much of a difference that extra pill is for me. I wasn’t just vegged on the couch watching TV, reluctantly cleaning or cooking a bit… I put my headphones in, connected them to the TV and watched a so-so show to provide mild entertainment that I wasn’t too invested in (I’d just want to sit and give it full attention in that case). Then as i half-watched, I cleaned, organized, took a little while and put that new battery in my phone that’s just been sitting there for weeks. I felt good…
Sucks that my dumb ass brain sometimes doesn’t want to go take the pills that help it so much. I shoulda taken them an hour ago, I think I’ll go take them now.
Yeah good point about the titration. The idea for this first month was really to confirm if a front line treatment had an effect. I was surprised he was okay starting at 30mg but I can see how this would help establish a baseline of side effects and all that. Can see how having more lower strength pills would allow for more control. I was a pharmacy helper for 5 years and remember all these amphetamine formulations and combos people would have prescribed. Really nice how there's so many options.
"Man there are so many checkpoints ok first one check second one check third one check fuck there is even another column of checkpoints fourth one check yeah I'll probably check them all let's just have a quick little look at that big interesting blob at the bottom and then I'll finish those checkpo.. Fuck you" *never actually finishes reading everything