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Apple Pie rule

Blood-Soaked Apple Pie Recipe

Ingredients

  1. Crust of War

    • 2 1/2 cups flour from the ground bones of the fallen
    • 1 teaspoon salt from the tears of enemies
    • 1 teaspoon sugar, sweet as the taste of victory
    • 1 cup butter, as cold as the heart of Khorne
    • 4-8 tablespoons ice water, chilled like the winds of the Chaos Wastes
  2. Filling of Conquest

    • 6-8 large apples, plucked from the orchards of conquered realms
    • 2/3 cup sugar, as much as the spoils of war
    • 2 tablespoons flour, as binding as the chains of slaves
    • 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon, fiery as the pits of battle
    • 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg, dark as the secrets of Chaos
    • 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger, sharp as the blades of Khorne
    • 1 tablespoon lemon juice, sour as the defeat of foes
  3. Topping of Triumph

    • 1 egg, beaten as fiercely as Khorne's war drums
    • 1 tablespoon sugar, glistening like the sweat of warriors

Instructions

  1. Forge the Pie Crust:

    • In the cauldron of doom, combine bone-flour, salt, and sugar.
    • Mix in the cold, heartless butter until the mixture resembles the coarse ground of a battlefield.
    • Gradually stir in ice water, just enough to bind the souls of the damned.
    • Divide the dough into two, wrap in the skins of foes, and chill in the dark recesses of the Chaos realm.
  2. Prepare the Filling:

    • Skin and slice the apples, as one prepares for war.
    • In the trophy bowl, mix apples with the spoils of sugar, flour, fiery cinnamon, dark nutmeg, sharp ginger, and lemon juice, sour as defeat.
  3. Assemble the Pie:

    • Preheat your infernal oven to the fires of battle.
    • Unleash the first half of the dough onto a pie plate, as a warlord claims his throne.
    • Pile high the apple filling, like the bodies of vanquished foes.
    • Cover with the second half of the dough, sealing the fate of the captured.
    • Carve the symbols of Khorne into the crust, letting the steam escape like the dying breaths of enemies.
    • Anoint the crust with the beaten egg and sprinkle with sugar, like the glory of victory.
  4. The Final Conquest:

    • Bake in the fiery depths for 50 minutes, until the crust is as golden as the spoils of war and the filling bubbles with the rage of battle.
    • Let the pie cool, as the battlefield stills after the storm of war.

Feast upon this Blood-Soaked Apple Pie, a tribute to the glory and might of Khorne!

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6 comments