Think about how you have treated both strangers and people you know to answer this question accurately. e.g.: If you say you like people but constantly avoid talking or doing any activity with other people do you actually like people?
“You wouldn’t know it, from some of the things I’ve said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don’t like people for extended periods of time. I’m ok with them for a short period of time, but once you get up past around a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there. And my reason for this is one that you may share, possibly — I have a low tolerance level for stupid bullshit.” - George Carlin
I feel like your example is pretty judgemental. You can absolutely like people but rather do your own thing most of the time, or not want to bother people. Or maybe you’re not much of a talker or whatever. I think it’s best not to prescribe how people should behave, it can be super alienating.
Maybe you're right. I'm certainly not an expert by any means.
The point I was trying to make is that we have a tendency to see ourselves in a biased way. We lie to ourselves all the time about who we are and what we want.
If you can step out of your own head and judge yourself based upon your actions instead of based on how you think of yourself you can hopefully see yourself in a more accurate way.
I don't believe I prescribed any behavior. I gave the example to encourage thinking about how you value people based on your actions.
People in general are idiots. People in large groups are even bigger idiots. Most organized groups of people are assholes.
However, individuals can be quite lovely. Or they can be like the above listing; idiots and/or assholes. Individually, I don't mind the risk of running into the unpleasant ones too much. There's always the chance that I'll run into the pleasant ones, so I don't automatically avoid individuals.
But groups? Fuck that shit, not without multiple weapons on me and a clear escape route. Even online, once got get groups going, the tide shifts to idiotic assholery at quantum speeds. It takes effort to not do it, and most people are too damn lazy to be decent online.
What's funny? People irl fucking like me. I'm chill on the surface, I'm friendly and polite. I'm outright fucking charming. But that comes along with the assholes and idiots (or idiotic assholes) thinking that I'm the same kind of person they are, and showing their real self.
And that's even with the fact that I don't shake hands, and enforce a personal space of about four feet, just beyond arm's reach unless I have no other choice. Assertively enforced at that. I'll calmly and politely state that I prefer strangers stay far enough away that they can't touch me, nor I them. And they fucking like that! The few that take it as a joke and decide to press it get stopped gently, and told that I'll have to assume they mean me harm if they don't stop. And they like that!
It's fucking crazy.
I'm not saying everyonealways likes me, but it's a rare thing when I don't end up listening to people I just met, often until I have to assert the fact that I need to leave because my body can't handle it.
I don't mind that, it just always surprises me how willing people are to show their ugliest sides so often. Like, the decent people, you expect because people tend to want to be liked. But the casual racism is so fucking common. The political rants that turn into literal spit flying from mouths.
People are fucking idiots and/or assholes. But it is just so damn rewarding when you find the ones that aren't, or at least try not to be. When you find those people, you fucking cherish it.
When I have no choice but to interact with people, I do my best to treat them with respect. However, I would say I'm generally ambivalent toward people overall and do my best to avoid them. I'm just not a social person and I never will be. Being forced into social settings is exceptionally stressful to me.
I like people in general. I think once you get past any awkward beginnings most people are just that, people. There are people I dislike m, but definitely enjoy chatting with most people out there
This is kind of like asking if I generally like or dislike all alligators. I'm fine with them and know enough about them not to enter the area where I know their instincts will tell them to prey on me. As long as I don't do that we get along fine. I have some very good friends and family and can capably manage everyone else. I'll even help someone who needs it while still being careful not to trigger those predatory instincts.
I try to remember that a lot of people are the way they are because of the conditions surrounding their existence, but that just depersonalizes my dislike for them in most cases, doesn't really make you like someone who you wouldn't otherwise.
Generally speaking, people are selfish assholes. But on occasion, a person will surprise me by being genuinely nice and it really lightens my day.
An example just from today…
Driving to Best Buy, I had to watch as someone swerved in and out of a lane, with zero regard to their surroundings, as if they didn’t know where to go, just for them to go to the Best Buy.
I went to park, and no less than three cars were over the lines making it difficult to park next to them.
Then in Best Buy, I had to dodge numerous people walking down the aisles with their head down staring at their phones instead of watching where they were going.
At the end of the experience, we were checked out by an amazingly nice and cheerful person who paid attention and interacted with respect and interest. While I understand it’s part of their job to be nice, I feel this person went above and beyond and just spoke to us like a cool human being.
So now my day feels good simply because of that one person. It’s sad that so many are the complete opposite. And to be fair, I’m a grouch a lot, so I am being hypocritical in what I say here. It’s so tough for me to be bright and cheerful when surrounded by such immense hostility, obliviousness, and rudeness.
People are awesome and exhausting at the same time. Socializing is like exercising. If I don't do it I feel horrible. If I do it too much without a break I feel horrible. If I do it just enough, then stop doing it and rest, it's nice. Moderation.
Going out and actually meeting people, I generally like them. You find most of the time they're also just trying to get through their lives and managing the best they can. There is a lot more love than hate out there, if you just but look.
Dealing with people in politics or other identity based topics. I would say strong dislike. You find people will hear what they want to hear and try and make your opinions fit in a pre labelled box. Strong beliefs also cause folks to turn a blind eye to evils in their own group. I just wish people were devoted to making these groups worthy of their unyielding support. The world may be a far, far better place.
I try to apply that last paragraph to myself as much as I can. My only exception is sports. I feel that is a safe space to let my inner tribalism have some freedom. But outside of that, I try to be most critical of my institutions and ideologies. In hopes I don't become the person I hate.
People are fine. I hope they all find happiness. I've never gotten the hang of the societal protocols, so I try to keep conversation professional and short.
I don't really like nor do I dislike people. Having social anxiety as long as I have has taught me to have no strong opinions on people. I won't go out of my way to talk to people not because I don't like people but because I'm scared I'm going to say something stupid. So, I guess in a way I like people but my stupid brain makes it seem like I don't like people.
I like people a lot and I think everyone's life holds value, for the most part and I'm pretty optimistic about most people. On a personal level, i dont like everyone i meet. i can't stand certain people, I don't like crowds, and I especially hate everyone on the road.
I like some people and dislike others. I neither like not dislike people as a general category. I am an introvert because I require chunks of solitude to function. I am outgoing because I enjoy socialization.
I'm not hyper social - like at work there are people who only like to go get coffee WITH someone, I don't even think about that, just go get coffee if I want it.
But I am comfortable with people and do like them & care about them, not a misanthrope. I think just because I am not usually alone, I like being alone. If I was usually alone, I'd want to hang out with people more.
Do I think we are a force for good in the world? No, I think collectively we are a big ol fuckup. But people can be so funny, so insightful, loving, helpful too. And I do think that over time we are improving, like two steps forward and one step backwards - the past was so violent, even in my lifetime my city has gotten much less violent. And we keep learning more about the world and universe.
In general, I adore and like people. Capable of such beautiful things!
I like seeing people smile and interacting with them in order to absorb that light and shine it back. And if none seem to be there, I like to try and get one going.
But I get anxious where there are masses of people present. City streets. Malls. Campuses.
It’s not that I suddenly dislike people. I just get overwhelmed with my adhd and base quirks, too much stimuli and too much of everything going on everywhere.
I love people as individuals for the most part, i.e unless they specifically give a reason not to. Many do give that reason, unfortunately. But the vast majority never do, in my (privileged?) experience, which is amazing and exciting to me.
But I tend to avoid masses of people. Not because I dislike them, but because I dislike the anxiety I gain.
Based upon my actions, I tend to avoid people probably from a fear of judgement, and maybe partly because I think I am better than them because I like to think I'm more informed than them usually. I also like to think and tell myself that I like people even when I don't necessarily live up to that in reality. In general, I try to assume that people are good, while keeping in mind that they are inherently selfish.
Even if people say and have a lot of naive or ignorant viewpoints, I try to remind myself they may partly hold those viewpoints to feel better about themselves. Everyone wants to feel like they are important, and some people do that by tearing other people down. If the only way someone can feel better about themself is by telling themselves at least they aren't black, gay, trans, a lib, a commie, a repub, poor, etc. then they must have a pretty sad life.