I think he's got something
I think he's got something
I think he's got something
And there was a Buffy the Vampire episode about something like this once. Some kind of great evil who claimed he couldn't be killed by anything made by mortal men. Then Buffy uses a bazooka on him. Maybe not those mortal man back then, but these ones? Lockheed and Raytheon? That'll do it.
Vampires are the dumbest monster. They can't enter a home without being invited, are repulsed by an easily drawn "t", get burned by an aromatic and can't go out in the sun. Just the dumbest monster.
I always liked the Salem's Lot vampires for this reason.
That is a bit more interesting.
So, they're polite and can't stand people who pretend to be Christian.
That has a lot to do with their origins. The fae also can't enter your home without being invited, but they're really, really good at getting people to invite them in.
Interestingly, the part about mirrors is also linked to the fae. The fae were believed to be harmed by silver, and silver had a lot of 'magical' powers. Since mirrors were made with silver, it kinda made sense that vampires couldn't see themselves in a mirror. But modern mirrors have aluminum backs (IIRC), so a vampire should be able to see their own reflection, no?
Also, garlic seems to depend on the origin on the vampire. Eastern European vampires were believed to be incredibly OCD; if you dumped out a handful of mustard seeds in front of them, they would feel compelled to count all of them.
I think the point of all that is the allegory. Which is the point of the monster; linking it to real ideas in your life and personifying your fears to tell indirect stories about them.
'Thing that just kills you a bunch and is scary' is a much smaller vein of good stories to mine.
Finally, a worthy purpose for the American Pick Up Truck.
Well, that wasn’t a vampire, but The Judge, which before times could only be destroyed by a volcano. Then again in Buffy lore fire can kill Vampires, so…
Just put stakes on front of cars. Pedestrian Dracula wouldn't last long.
Paging Tracy Chapman.
We have wood chippers now, also chainsaws and electric circular saws. See how tough vampires are when they're mush.
They might reassemble like sea sponges for all we know.
You got a fast car
I got a blood drinkin' monster
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can slay the beast
In buffy they use a rocket launcher...
I thought of that as soon as I saw the meme too
All Im saying is a little brrrrrppppp from an A-10 will probably get it done
Hmm. At some point werewolf media updated from silvered blades to silver bullets. Buffy used a crossbow, but what about wooden bullets?
Might need a sabot or some kind of jacketing to protect from combustion, but could it work?
You can buy empty .68 cal plastic shells for paintball guns. They're commonly filled with pyrotechnics for use in movies as "spark balls" to simulate bullets striking an object.
... But there's nothing stopping you from filling them with holy water, garlic paste, silver powder, etc.
I imagine a drive shaft through the skull may also be effective
But Robert patt can dodge cars AND out run them
Fuck cars.
To quote the documentary Hotel Transylvania: "Yeah, well, who wouldn't that kill?"
I don't think vampires can ignore physics. Enough kinetic energy can destroy anything.
Protip: If you want to avoid pesky legal issues, just place a battered bicycle next to the corpse and say "he came out of nowhere" and "should have worn a helmet".
Cyclists should wear helmets
True. But here's a fun statistics fact: Most people who sustain head injuries in traffic accidents are inside a car.
Despite seatbelts and airbags. Yet strangely, no one ever says "Car drivers should wear helmets".
SDIDSY
zip tie a beat up bike to the front of your vehicle to save yourself the hassle, plus the corpse will have contusions consistent with a bicycle collision.