Man who threw sandwich at US federal agent found not guilty of assault
Man who threw sandwich at US federal agent found not guilty of assault
www.theguardian.com
Man who threw sandwich at US federal agent found not guilty of assault
55 comments
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The man who was hit with the sandwich was CBP agent Gregory Lairmore, who told the jury earlier this week that the sandwich “kind of exploded all over my uniform” and “smelled of onions and mustard”, according to the Washington Post. The defense pushed back, as it appeared in imagery from the scene that the sandwich did not leave its wrapper.
LOL, how is this not The Onion?
Anyway, it'd be nice to be able to sue the shit out of those responsible for wasting this guy's time, reinstall him in his job, and give him all back pay.
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Now sue them for $.
Or politicians need to be forced to vote to remove this immunity BS. We need to push for that and the removal of citizens United.
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I was just wondering if he could sue for malicious prosecution.
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... and can the police officer who LIED (perjured himself) when saying the sandwich "exploded all over" be privately charged if the court won't do it themselves?
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Who knows but if he does they should bar the agent and lawyer that brought up the charges from ever bringing charges again on anybody.
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He probably can't. Absurd as it may sound, he was actually guilty.
Here are model jury instructions for the charge, which include:
There is a forcible assault when one person intentionally strikes another
It doesn't say that the victim must be struck with something very likely to injure them. Looking at the statute, it turns out that actual physical contact (rather than making a threat without contact) elevates it to a felony - the charge a grand jury previously rejected.
Of course, prosecutors normally apply common sense to charging decisions and don't prosecute everything that technically qualifies under the strictest reading of a statute.
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Sue for delicious prosecution I say
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No, he sues for damages. Time lost, mental anguish, etc
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That man's a hero.
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I see what you did there
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That hero is a hero
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He’s a gyro.
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I am happy they didn’t find him guilty of assault with a deli weapon.
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Badoom-tsching!
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If his name is “Reuben” that would be kinda funny. Per chance it were a loose meat sandwich and it were somewhat saucy, and if his name was Joseph, by golly we’d have one non guilty “Sloppy Joe”.
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I'm glad DC juries aren't putting up with Trump and Bondi's fascist shit
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"This, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is about a sandwich" and after the federal agent claimed to have been smeared with mustard and onions, the defense showed a picture of the sandwich - still completely in its wrapper.
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"If the wrapper is still fit, you must acquit!"
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I was kind of hoping the defence would produce a receipt that confirmed it was a BLT without onions, hence proving the agent committed perjury.
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Wait, so the cop didn't even actually get mustard and onions on him?
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That was from the hamberders he ate for lunch
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Were in a world where I can't tell if this is legit or not.
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Does a subway sandwich qualify as food?
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Hope he's rethinking applying to law school. That's going to be one hell of a character & fitness story to explain...
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I dunno... i think there could be an issue if you throw something like a moldy tomato at someone, that they could claim a health risk due to the mold for example, so might wanna make sure it's actually human safe, even if it's no longer worth eating.
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I wish in cases like these, the jury could sanction the prosecution, like not guilty, and we revoke your right to practice law for 90 days for being such fucking idiots and harming the accused, and wasting our fucking time.
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Also just further on this... think of how many frivilious law suits could be prevented with that. Don't let the jury block them for a year, and maybe keep a harsher thing like 90 days for state/feds, but imagine if someone hires a lawyer to sue someone for something absolutely ridiculous, and they knew they would risk not being able to practice law for a week if they offend the jury for how stupid it was.
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Point for "gripping hand" reference
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Surely his next step will be to sue them for damages.
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So even without a conviction, state security achieved their goal.
only as long as fear of throwing sub sandwiches permeates throughout society instead of emboldening those who wish to dish out deli with extra bacon
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The anniversary of Haymarket square is next week
Would be curious if Chicago has a repeat event with ICE in 2025
..but instead of police blaming the massacre on an "anarchist" throwing a bomb, it's "antifa" throwing footlongs
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I revel in the fact that the cop is going to get roasted for this through out his career. We should start emailing quality puns to the department so they don't run out of fodder too quick.
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toasted
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Please share the email address
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Man frowns at MAGA.
Republicans: he assaulted me! Lock him up!
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Can you imagine a lunchroom food fight if this had been considered assault?
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Time to make more sandwiches and milkshakes
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Why milkshakes :(
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Of assault... but what about the pepper?
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Producer Amy Pascal threw a sandwich at producer Kevin Feige over a disagreement about bringing Spiderman into the MCU
55 comments
Sub beats wrap
⬆️ take it and go you animal.
this is why i always order mine without assault and pepper.