6d ago

Stay Calm

16 comments

You know that you can use both hands to kill flies and mosquitos easy-peasy, right? It just takes a modicum of patience, and you don't have to hit yourself at all.
In other words, you need to plan your violence, instead of being impulsive with it.
The problem with this old chestnut is that nut-tapping yourself is way better than walking around with a mosquito bite on your ball sack.
- The real problem is you can just wave your hand near a mosquito and it will take flight again. You don’t have to rack yourself at all. And then you can go put on some undies, you savage.
  
  You don’t have to rack yourself at all.
  Don't tell other people that! I'd look a lot weirder in public if people knew that. /j
  
  You want me to wave it off so it can bite me somewhere else? No thanks, I've already had dengue.
- A lot more fun, too
1: nonviolently remove mosquito from testicle.
2: kill the mosquito.
3: kill the mosquito's friends, family, neighbors, distant relatives.
4: full on mosquito genocide.
5: don't stop until they're completely extinct.
 
The food chain can either adapt or collapse. Fuck it. Worse case scenario, we snuff out life on this planet a few years earlier than we're doing anyway via our increasingly relentless attacks on our climate. At this point it's worth the risk.
- Humanity agrees. We are currently undergoing a massive genetic weapons test against mosquitos to get them to stop breeding, and recent research hints at a generic switch for malaria. It's terrifying but if theere's anything that humanity was going to yolo, it was going to be mosquito genocide.
jokes on you, i'm into that shit.
CBT Enthusiasts: 😶‍🌫️
I can be violent to the mosquitoes without hurting my nuts.
Mmmm yes very wise
-Mr Rogers

16 comments