7d ago

When you were little, did your parents hold your hands? Did you feel comfortable with it? Did you feel embarassed by it?

When I was a kid, my mom always be holding my hands, especially like when we cross the streets. And I remember at the time, I kinda half disliked it, because I always felt like my movements were being too restrictive, like... I feel like I was too close and I wanted to like move around, look at surroundings, trees, squirrels, etc... She was always afraid I'd get lost, or like... god forbid... get hit by a car.

She also tried to hold my older brother's hand with her other hand, but he of couse was older and felt embarassed by it so he refused.

I sometimes just run off and go ahead of her because I was bored and felt like she walked too slow, and like I wanted to peek inside a store from the glass window, for example, then we get to a crossing, and she grabs my hand again. Now thinking back, that was actually so wholesome. Like it kinda feels safe and secure being held on to closely.

The memories I remembered of this was around when I was 8-12. Any older than that and I think I just got tired of it and embarassed and I refused lol.

My dad never tried to hold my hands... I guess fathers are just different lol.

Did your parents do that? Did you like it?

22 comments

I loved it when my dad held my hand.
I'm nearly 30 now, and our political and religious views are (as an understatement) wildly different in most respects. But I still love my dad, and I would do damn near anything for him. Because he did damn near anything for me.
I held my parents hands when we were in crowded places. Until I accidentally grabbed some random woman's hand and felt really awkward. I probably stopped around age 7.
I love holding my kids hands. They're big enough that I don't think I'll get to hold my elder son's hand again, and I might get to hold my little guy's hand a few more times. Here's hoping.
I was one of those kids that should have been on a leash, but they didn't have kid leashes back in the 80's, so mom held my hand to keep me from running into traffic or climbing up every tree. To make it fun so I wouldn't fight her on it we played a game called "bread n' butter", whenever we encountered an obstacle in the sidewalk like a pole or trash can or bench we would simultaneously exclaim the name of the game and split to either side of it. If it was short enough we would hold hands over the top, if not we would let go just long enough to get around it. I absolutely loved the game and never realized I was being manipulated into enjoying being safe. Right around 5-6 years old I got old enough to be trusted with not running into traffic, and also started school and became self-aware about my independence/embarassed at being a "momma's boy", so no more hand holding after that.
- That game sounds really wholesome!
I don't remember, but I hold my kids' hands whenever they want me to and whenever I am concerned that they'll run off into a dangerous situation. (And, to your second-to-last paragraph, I'm a dad haha)
My five-year-old and three-year-old sons actively seek it out. My eight-year-old daughter is ok with it, but doesn't usually seek it out. My eleven-year-old son doesn't need it and doesn't ask for it; if we're in a crowded place and I need to keep him close, I'll usually just put a hand on his shoulder.
Yeah, my parents did that when I was really little. I enjoyed it. Parents even did the thing where they each hold a hand and sorta pick you up and swing you as they walk. It was fun.
I enjoy physical affection, whether platonic or romantic, though as an adult, I feel pretty starved for it. I wish I had a girl I could walk around and hold hands with. That said, I still get hugs from people within my community, so it's not as bad as it could be. But I still feel starved, anyway.
- Not joking but you could get a teddy bear for hugs at home. It was recommended to a friend by their therapist.
  
  That's not really the same as a person.
My mom used to do that, and then when I got taller than her changed to hooking my arm.
At first I was embarrassed but then I watched Wooster and Jeeves and learnt about the "supporting a lady" bit, then I was alright with it.
I remember my parents holding my hand in the street. I remember there were two ways of docking the hands, and one of them felt wrong. I remember always trying to correct the hold if it was the wrong one. I don’t remember disliking hand holding per se.
Nowadays I hold my kid’s hand when on the street or entering the subway or similar. And if I’m not holding hands, I have mine very near and almost always keep contact with the body ever so slightly. I’m not taking any chance. I guess the circle has closed.
I have faint memories of them doing it when I was very little, like maybe 3 or 4. I don't remember any particular emotions associated with it, it was just something we did.
Older than that I was too busy exploring ditches and climbing trees to hold hands
Yes
Yeah, certainly, and it was nice except for when my hyperactivity took over and I wanted to run to whatever caught my attention, lol. I'm a Latino too so it's not like we're uncomfortable with physical touch. 😅
My mother did not. My father may have, but what I remember is when I was older and he started putting his hand on my back when we were out together. That was weird and possesive
My parents did not love me lol
- Sorry if this is not the tine to ask, but: Curious what aspect made it weird?
  Was it like... sexual or anything?
  Because afiak, I never ever thought hand holding was in anyway sexual, especially between parent-child. I'm from a East Asian culture, and although spouses rarely show affection, usually parent-child relationships are pretty normal. I don't think anything would even bat an eye if a father held the hands of the daughter. But in America, that's somehow weird? Idk, cultural differences.
  
  He put his hand on my lower back after puberty, where before he'd just hold my hand. I should probably have clarified that. My dad was not an affectionate man.
  This was also in the early 00s when purity balls were common, so having attended one of those I definitely feel like his hand placement was possesive
Yes. My mom called it "hugging hands". I don't remember when we stopped doing it, but it was probably when I was around 6 or 7 years old.
No, not that I remember. It's not that they don't love each other; they do. It's just that they show it differently through actions rather than physical touch. My parents are Chinese; physical touch isn't that common in East Asia. And their parents (aka my grandparents) didn't show them love through that way, so I grew up mostly receiving love through actions, too like my mom buying/cutting fruits while I'm studying.
- Oh I meant like did your parents hold your hands to keep you safe so you don't run off or get lost.
  And I'm ethnic Chinese too, I was born in mainland China, I never really saw my parents holding hands with eachother or ever kissed, or even a hug. But like... my mother really just like to hold me close lol, she also encouraged me to sit on her lap. So like in terms of affection towards their children, its very much a thing, at least in my childhood, not sure about other kids, but they just never show affection with their spouses...
  
  Ohh. Whoops, I misread your question. In that case, also no. They usually use words to tell me to keep close majority of the time when I was a kid. I wasn't the type of child that would run off whenever I wanted because I would listen to them (their scoldings, warnings about stranger danger). As I grew up, they trusted me enough to let me wander around at an event we were at or something by myself because they knew when and where I would report back. Basically, I was responsible enough at a young age.

22 comments