It's basic, but is there anything in the world more satisfying to dice than green onions?

You gonna finish or is this just bait?

Look I was hoping nobody would notice, so thanks you butthead ( <3 )
- Someone had to.

You're so right that it's satisfying to dice green onion and get that beautiful gradient.

Have you tried mincing meat by hand? I get incredible satisfaction wielding two cleavers and going to town on some chicken. It's amazing how quickly it turns from chunks to a fine paste. Plus the sound is astounding. My roommates legit gather because it makes such a ruckus and apparently I get a huge smile on my face whenever I do it.

That sounds AMAZING, though I think my roommates would be more "cower in fear" if I ever got my hands on two cleavers at once (I am a renowned klutz).

I find regular onion satisfying too.

Working out the technique is awesome. Dicing up onions becomes easy and even enjoyable once you know.
Oh, that's a good one. Slicing a nice big onion into thin half rounds is a wonderful sensation.

The best part is when you toss them and all the little interior rings come apart.

dice keep surprising us with their preferences

I feel like there's a reference here I'm just not getting :(
- its such a bad joke that its hard to get lol

this was the first thing we learned to dice in culinary school (the high school program)

also chopping up parsley for garnish is so fun cause you just take out all your aggression :P

It's basic, but it's basic for a real good reason...

I've been playing with this Garnish technique I saw on Chinese cooking videos where you cut a 3 inch section of green onion, flatten it with your knife, then cut it along the short edge to form long strands of green onion. A few of those delicately placed atop a dish, especially one lacking green, really makes it pop
Plating is just so much fun, I have to be careful not to get carried away with it. Rice especially is fun, get the consistency right and you can sculpt it into so many different shapes that accent the food in so many delightful ways and then twenty minutes have gone by, the food's cold and everyone else is complaining...

Peppers are pretty fun

@Warl0k3 tomato...but only if your knife is sharp enough to avoid the squish!

Use a bread knife for tomatoes.

I would rank silken tofu above it.

Ok, but where does the white end and the green begin?

Fuzzy logic -- the white and green exist on a graduated spectrum of intensity ranging from 0 to 100...

I like chopping celery because the pitch of the chop changes as you move from a big end to the small one

I'm not a great fount of experience, but depending upon the feel you're going for, maybe potatoes? Jicama?

The YT channel "Sorted Food" regularly tests kitchen gadgets. They recently had a device to nicely cut green onions.

https://youtu.be/1i4blxyoLuY

Amazingly one episode where both (a chef and a "normal") did not shoot down most of the gadgets.

I dont see any cuboids. Is it still dicing if the result is hollow cylinders? /j

Most other things, yeah. I am bad at cutting green onions.

Weird question, but is there a term for art that has stuff that‘s cut but arranged in a manner that resembles its uncut form like this? I find it oddly satisfying to look at lol

Most people would know what you mean, but yeah by far the most common name in the states is green onion.