A poem from high school about my dislike of Windows 11
so my English teacher was kick ass and let us use tasteful swear words (no racial swears) and let us read them in class which was so cool and is probably the reason why i loved that English class. but anyway
--edit yes i know the english is bad there are also a few swears viewer digression advised
NEW FROM MICROSOFT -WINDOWS 11
To Microsoft
I love how windows has automatic driver support
I have used windows XP since I was 6
Every program that ends with .exe runs great
But you got some problems to fix
it started with automatic random windows updates
BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE
LET ME UNINSTALL MICROSOFT EDGE
ITS NOT GOOD
ITS DOG SHIT YOUR SO DESPRATE
YOU MAKE IT RUN ON X86
IT EATS ALL MY RAM LIKE AN OBEESE MAN AT MCDONALDS
IT SLOWS MY COMPUTER DOWN
AND ITS GIVIN ME BLUE SCREENS WITH THAT STUPID ASS FROWN
HERES AN ERROR CODE Screw you
GOOD LUCK FINDING IT ON GOOGLE IT DOESN’T EXIST
YOUR RANDOMLY UNINSTALL IMPORTANT THINGS
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIX MY PC WHEN IT UNINSTALLS THE DRIVER FOR MY DISPLAY
In praise of Windows and its driver lore,
Since six, with XP, I've been at its door.
Each program ending with ".exe" does soar,
But issues, oh Microsoft, hard to ignore.
The automatic updates, without refrain,
Yet, a plea, loud and clear, let me explain,
Uninstalling Edge should be without pain,
Its consumption, like a feast, hard to contain.
Blue screens appear, with that mocking frown,
Error codes hidden, have me run around.
Important tools vanish, with no renown,
How to fix, when the drivers just can't be found?
MacOS Monterey, a tempting fate,
Your Windows 11, issues to slate.
Notepads lingering, making me wait,
Preinstalled, yet feels it's second-rate.
Your market share, a towering fame,
Yet sometimes, the OS feels rather tame.
To own our device is the end game,
But it feels like Windows plays its own claim.
Once in '92, Windows was a thrill,
Now, its charm seems like an uphill.
Linux rises, ready for the kill,
In 2022, it's taking its fill.
In your shadow, Mr. Gates, we see,
Linus Torvalds spoke true, let's agree,
A PC's like air-con, clear as can be,
Useless it becomes, when a window is free.
So here I stand, my piece is said,
Hoping for better days ahead.
Non-open source, a path you tread,
In proprietary depths, where angels fear to tread.
I mean.. it's not bad but I couldn't imagine myself reading this in front of a whole class that doesn't even know what a Windows 11 even is I would just melt, you're strong for doing this
Windows once forced an immediate restart when I was in the middle of an important meeting and had unsaved notes for said meeting. I couldn't even get back into the meeting because the update took 20 minutes. Great job being a tool for business, Windows...
I liked Windows 11 when it first landed, then came the forced updates that continually reinstalled trash you removed... like Edge and Teams. And then came the invasive advertising for OneDrive and other Microsoft products.
I'm running dual boot now with Debian + Gnome on a separate partition, and slowly weaning myself of Windows entirely. The only thing I'll miss is GamePass.