Pedestrian walking in road because cyclist riding on sidewalk because car parked in bike lane

Eyewitnesses today confirmed reports that a pedestrian was walking in the road because a cyclist was riding on the sidewalk because a car was parked in the bike lane.

“I was driving down the road when all of a sudden I looked up from my phone and saw this guy walking in the lane right in front of me, when there was a perfectly good sidewalk right next to him,” said one eyewitness who wished to remain anonymous because his driver’s licence is currently suspended for a DUI. “Right as I was about to lay on my horn and scream at him and threaten to kill him and his entire family, I noticed that the sidewalk was actually full of cyclists riding on it and the bike lane was blocked by a parked car. Well, I say car but does a cybertruck count as a car?” [...]