A woman is having a very hard time reconciling her partner not being able to put their fingers in their mouth.

When my partner and I met, I was surprised by how open and accepting she was. She’s like a cat, but I never let her catch sight of my fingers in a normal context. She said it as such a compliment. That made my cock hard at the thought of her looking at it. It took about 5 tries, and I finally got her to accept my finger. She still can't put them in, but the weird part is that when she looks at it, her lips don’t move. I don’t think it’s a defect or anything, but it’s weird, and makes me feel weird and ashamed. I know I should just accept it as a fact that she can’t put them in, and just let it go, but I can’t just let that go. I’m sad. I feel like my partner is right, that I don’t want to let my fingers go to waste. But I need to be with someone. I’ve tried all the “I know what you like” lines that my partner is trying to use to make her stop. I have said that I want to be with someone, to have a meaningful connection. But I’ve kept that on my mind, and it’s hard to resist. But I’m so afraid that someone might be interested in what’s going on in our relationship that I just can’t let anyone know.