5d ago

The Mistake Parents Make With Chores

www.theatlantic.com

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5 comments

I liked having my daughter do chores with me. She had less time and energy to get into something she shouldn't. With a few age-appropriate rules ("only mommy can wash the sharp knives"), it's not so bad.
She is older, and does an adequate job without supervision most of the time. I've been giving her some tips every now and then to help her grow from "adequate" to "really good."
The article is right, though. It can take a LOT longer to get anything done, but I feel like it has paid off so far.
- I just finished reading the article, and I absolutely remember not wanting my toddler to "help" with chores because I knew I would have to follow behind him to "re-do" them and it would take twice as long.
  But a few years in, I was able to let those feelings go and was able to give my child space to learn. With more practice it gets easier, and now I have a 12 year old who cleans up after himself relatively easily. He's in charge of his own bathroom even. I phrased cleaning up after ourselves as personal responsibility, because thats what it is.
  I feel bad for not letting him help as a toddler and wish I approached it differently then, if only to help his self esteem. Yet I am glad by the time he was 7/8 I could give up that control and give him space to learn. Better late than never! Now if only I could get him to stop holding the broom like a hockey stick lol
  It's really nice to see your parenting efforts pay off with the kids learning self reliance and responsibility.
Children love to help. It comes to them as naturally as play. "Chores" are just things that need to be done .. I think it's helpful to not think about something you have to do everyday as a burden, just for my own mental well being, haha. When my daughter was young and around me all the time, I would have found it weird to exclude her from everyday things that just need to be done. I didn't even phrase it as "help" - we would just do those things together, just like we played together. She's a teen now, and knows how a household works and she just does stuff that need doing, just like any other member of our household. I mean, of course her room is a mess, but that's just age appropriate.
This is a great article. The number of toys that are just smaller versions of tools that adults use show that children want to help and be adults. I want to try to make sure I do this with my upcoming daughter and REALLY need to do this with any future boys I have. The number of young men who can't do any cleaning or cooking is unsustainable. These are life skills that everyone needs to learn
My 5 yr old is so thrilled when she folds a towel or her pj's or pants. She's pretty good at it too. Sometimes she folds towels on the floor or in some other mess, but the focus is on folding. We'll get there.