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Lick a finger a little and it'll open effortlessly.
But I've used that to scratch between my cheeks...
Cats: don't you lick there too?
I'm not sure I can bring my cat to the store to help me open these bags sorry
If ya clean the trench proper, ya aint gotta dig in the mud later.
Ew, no thanks. Better to exhale on your fingers the same way as when you want to fog up a pair of glasses. Then you're not putting the same fingers in your mouth that we're just on whatever surfaces you touched since you last washed your hands.
That or, if they spray the produce with a mist of water, touch the moist produce then open the bag
Look around: dirt and bacteria are all around! Booooo(or whatever bacteria say)!
Facepalm.
P.S. I don't want to insult you, but you might want to check your head -- I forget how this illness is called, but there exists a condition when a victim becomes unreasonably obsessed with cleanliness and is panically afraid of anything non-sterile. I suppose there are many stages in between too, so it isn't like you either just don't care or are mad as a hatter.
Mate, you might as well lick a grocery cart handle while you're at it. And yes, there's a wide range between germophobe and unhygienic troglodyte, but thank you for letting us know which end of that spectrum you fall