This feeling is what put me on the path to discovering that I'm not just ADHD but AuADHD. It's nice to have a better understanding of why I act certain ways and being able to understand where I might get into bother with unhealthy coping strategies but, saying that it would have been nice to have the information before my 30s is a collosal understatement.
I may be neuro typical, who knows, and certainly introverted. There are so many annoying social rules, it's tiring. Also each social group has variations on it.
I have a coworker who always chooses me if she needs help or has to work with someone. I asked her why, hoping it wasn't a romantic reason. She said because I don't do a lot of small talk, I listen to her info dumps without cutting her off, unless it's questions to clarify, and I don't talk just to fill the silence. Basically she's comfortable being herself around me.
Yes, I've noticed that if I wonder whether someone is ND then they usually are. I wonder when I see a behaviour that looks... familiar. Even if it's just a picture, sometimes I can tell by the way they're posed or their expression. I asked my friend about her little cousin from a family photo once and she seemed shocked, because the family had been wondering the same thing!