Do you trust Mark Zuckerberg to solve your loneliness with an ‘AI friend’? No, me neither.

I have said it before but ai and the waitress that smiles at you as you order are not your friends.

Short answer: No. Long answer: I trust him so little I'd like to see him use a chainsaw as a sounding rod.

I don’t trust Mark Zuckerberg to not replace all therapists with AIs trained exclusively on his childhood diary.

I wouldn’t trust Mark Zuckerberg to not create an AI that slowly rewrites your internal monologue.

I wouldn’t trust Zuck not to breed an army of hyper-intelligent raccoons trained in lock-picking and subtle social manipulation, release them into major urban centers, and then deny all involvement as he watches the chaos from a floating sensory deprivation tank wired directly into a dolphin’s brainwaves. (I may or may not be in favor of this one)

At this point, we should all be very familiar with what it means to be a "Facebook friend". Only someone with the emotional depth of a Lego mini figure would think this is a good idea.

Additionally, real friends don't exploit your weak points to sell you shit, whether products or harmful ideologies.

I trust my cat to not bite me while petting the belly more than an oligarch.

(My cat actually doesn't bite when I pet the belly, most of the tine)

AI isn't real, Cats are real, warm, soft.

Cat is love, Cat is life.

Now there’s a guy whose skinsuit fits awkwardly

I'll stick to IRL strippers, thank you very much.

I do not trust Mark Zuckerberg. Period. End of sentence.

In a world where unfettered Internet access has completely eroded our ability to form connections with others, the solution to loneliness couldn’t possibly be anything but more screen time 🤦🏽‍♂️

Black Mirror has its work cut out for it, that's all I'll say.

I would trust him to design a cleaner to get the jizz stains out of the upholstery of the chair in my masturbatorium. I’d also hire him to do it. Under the table and at sub par wages of course. Then, before I paid him, I’d put some sweet baby rays on my balls and see it he wants some real genuine ballskin. And of course he would which would give me the perfect opportunity to extol the Roman Empire and regale him with tales of real men and masculinity. Sweet baby rays baby!

Do you trust Mark Zuckerberg…

Now let me stop you right there. The answer is no. It’s always no when Zuck is involved.

This would be funnier if it wasn't so sad.

New insult (feel free to workshop below): You suck so much, your AI friend won't talk to you.

The average person trusts Google, Facebook, Microsoft, OpenAI, Apple, and every scammy data mining mobile app that exists. This whole death of Facebook due to data mining and misinformation circlejerk is regarded.

The progenitor of what became all that’s wrong in the world.