TP
I'm also in the bathroom, but the TP is on my right and to the left is the shower. No objects that aren't attached to the building. So, that'll be hard.
... 40 oz metal water bottle...
A couch. Is this like one of JD Vance's fantasies? To be fucked by a couch?
Huh??????
I'm pretty sure air already does this
Idk how to interpret this when I read it while laying on my right side. What's on my left... the sun?
You sleeping on a park bench?
Cat wand toy.
Perforated bowel coming up
Well.. it's a door. At least my ass will be closed for business after that.
Cup.
Uhhhh
Put The Cat down shane dawson
I only have a table to my left... Well this is gonna hurt.
My husband? Normal day.
Well looks like u got the best option
Whew, just a coffee mug.
My poor Blåhaj…
Nice, just a coke spoon
Toilet paper? All according to plan
Same but would be maybe better to not have it go all the way up
I guess he's trying to deep clean the pipes
I just walked past a parked car as I read that—it's been nice knowing you all
Humans fucking cars
Fleshy car wrap :D
We had cat in the hat
Now we have car in the ass
A mirror. Or... Myself?
The wall? I wonder how that's gonna work
To my left is my dog Courage, she weighs about 50 lbs so having her shoved up my ass would probably end my life
A teaspoon, or worryingly the kitchen table upon which it is sitting.
Small metal filling cabinet that is wider than I am, death is what I get
Of all guitars, why did I choose a ten-string one
A 30cm offset serrated bread knife? At least the base is vaguely flared.
A wall?!
There’s a window, but just outside the window is a tall skinny CACTUS
looks at radiator dubiously
The first time I saw this post: sunglasses
The second time: 375mL can of beer.
The third time: my cat.
A bigass shelf. I'm going to die.
Okay but it doesn’t specify entirely up your ass, just up your ass. So a Bo staff wouldn’t be that bad, it’s smooth at least.
Right? I had a fresh mug of coffee to the left of me when I read it, feels like the scalding alone would make that worse than a bo staff without even getting into the damage a shattering mug could do.
It's like a 6ft x 2ft painting (2m x 0.7m roughly) on the wall. Going to be a rough night.
Well shit, I guess I have to re-enact 1 man 1 jar...
Oh lawd not again
A towel. Idk how im gonna make this work. Maybe if soaked with enough lube or oil 🤔
Blender and a funnel!
Eww thats even worse
I reckon you could manage a towel with a bit of lube and some sort of stick to help it on its way.
I believe in you, you've got this.
Wrap it around a stick and then wrap it with rope like you would do with a turkey and then soak it in coconut oil
Haven't done it myself yet but sounds like it might work🤷♂️
HARDER!!
Vlad the impaler
Eugh, nicotine pouch spit cup. Slimy.
The finger pointed at the fish tank.
I wish i die before that
-fish
