As a girl, I know what I'm picking.

You may fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese 🧀

I am not a woman, but I would be fascinated too
- Fun fact: if you are ever on a plane with a crying baby take a slice of cheese and carefully place it on the babies face. The parents will be so happy with you for calming the baby.
  
  I read that on Reddit at some point. It seems like solid advise.

Don’t you mean get “Us” a rotisserie chicken?

You stay away from my chicken!
- Just hear me out, what if instead it was our chicken?

Problem is, she's vegan, so she's against picking flowers and against eating chicken.

It's best you just save the money for a month or several and buy her LEGO.

Wait, why are vegans against picking flowers? Broccoli is a flower! It needs to be picked before eating!
- Lots of vegans, and non-vegans, are anti-picking-of-flowers, because if you leave them to live, they live longer and look prettier, instead of wilting sadly in a vase until they're fully dead.
  
  So for some people, it's better to give them a live plant, so they can kill it by accident on their own time.
- Ive been vegan for more than a decade and most of my circle is vegan. I don't think i know of any vegans against cut flowers. The only argument i can see is that if you were cutting flowers found in the wild then you could be harming the environment which indirectly hurts the wildlife and pollinators. But i think most vegans would be ok with buying flowers. My wife and i also just grow our own and cut only a fraction of what we plant.
  
  Btw if we're talking about Costco for chicken, they do have reasonably sized bouquets for as cheap as $10. And while that chicken will be gone in a day or two, Ive kept a Costco bouquet alive for my wife for a minimum of a week.
- Broccoli is for sustinance, picked flower will just needlesly die. :P
- Picking wild flowers disrupts the circle of life, artificially growing flowers requires energy, fertilizer and insecticides which also disrupts the circle of life. Best option is to buy her broccoli instead. Don't wrap it though, wrapping paper is basically really flat chopped trees with a layer of chemicals on top. No ribbons either. Maybe some sauce, but not milk/yoghurt/egg-based.

Or you can get her a hotdog combo and still have $3.50 left to spend for yourself.

Three fiddy?

I’d be picking them bones, know what I’m saying?

or, like, a whole egg

Just don't eat the chicken on the way home. You're asking for trouble.

As an AroAce women I think the choice is very obvious :3

(Especially if garlic bread is a side dish with the chicken and maybe a salad)

Do the flowers also contain concentrated microplastics?

Of course! What doesn’t nowadays…
Those are complimentary

The flowers?

Also those Costco chickens are way better than regular grocery store chickens from like Safeway or whatever. They’re way bigger and juicier, I think they’re brined or something. It’s like other stores aren’t even trying.