What a man

I convinced my truck drivin', Trump votin', gun totin', beer swillin' redneck neighbor to switch to an electric mower purely because he was envious of my own electric one and how it just runs when you press the button, without fail and every single time. It was actually kind of hilarious.

I have got 9 people to buy electric lawn mowers. Electric lawn mowers are amazing.
You can one up him buy getting one of those automated ones that run automatically every couple of days. Get it to run at night and he will be amazed how you keep a perfect lawn without him ever seeing you mow
- Careful running those at night. Depending on local wildlife, you might end up waking up to a mowed hedgehog.
- Don't mow nearly that often, you need to give the grass time to grow so local wildlife can try to go through a lifecycle when it can. Constantly mowing your grass is terrible for overall biodiversity, lowers soil quality and is bad for pollinators. Only mow like every two weeks if you can.
  Source
- I'd need three of those because my yard -- or rather yards -- are three discontinuous chunks.
  But then, that may qualify as my own robot army. Hmm...
- Why would you run it at night? They're not as loud as petrol mowers, but spinning blades are not exactly quiet when mowing

Thought OP got caught cranking something else for a second there.

is that what they're calling it now

You sleep with a full deli's worth of bologna and ham laid out on your chest? Wow, talk about living the dream.

Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

In an assumption that those reading the comments here are lawn cutting folks, please consider not cutting your lawn at all, or if that's not feasible at least reducing how often or how large an area you do it to. Nature cannot survive the onslaught of every home on the planet having a perfectly neat 10mm tall patch of grass and nothing else. We need diversity.

See the sidebar here for more information: https://slrpnk.net/c/nolawns

And sometime the HOA or even the city will complain.
Some cities offer guides or services for native plants! https://sfpublicworks.org/services/plant-lists-and-palettes
It's even divided across the city's different climate zones (San Francisco is small, but can have huge differences in weather from one side to the other).
I recall a SoCal city even offering free consultation for native gardens.

How I sleep when that aquarium of sea monkeys I ate a year ago reach full maturity.

If you must have a lawn (e.g. HOA, personal preference), I strongly recommend doing away with this nonsense and go electric. Better yet, stay ahead of battery obsolescence and get a plug-in model, provided your yard is small enough. No more gas, oil changes, clogged filters, re-gapping spark plugs, and no more dislocating your shoulder trying to start the damn thing. Just keep the blade clean and sharp and it'll run for a decade at least.

Just get a Makita or some other power tool company that lets you use the same battery for your drill, mower and a bunch of other things. Make sure it's a reputable one where the ecosystem will be around a long time.
Or get a reel mower and call it a day

I happened to misinterpret the content on the bottom right part of the image for another bodypart :)

Imagine having property with a lawn to mow

Crank it with a shirt on next time. You cranked your dang nipples straight off your chest there bud.

THAT'S NOT A BUG, THAT'S A FEATURE BROTHER!
Why would a man need nipples? Preposterous!
- That reminds me of that thing Socrates said one day about a man and his nipples.
- Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his nips? 'No!' says the man in Washington, 'It belongs to the poor.' 'No!' says the man in the Vatican, 'It belongs to God.' 'No!' says the man in Moscow, 'It belongs to everyone.'

This meme is as old as cranking mowers.

All this electric mower love in the comments and I'm looking at fixing the carb on my 20 year old gas mower because the arm broke off my electric after 2 years.

Did you crank it too hard?

At a reasonable time of day