Easter Eggs Are So Expensive Americans Are Dyeing Potatoes

With costs high and supplies short, people are getting creative with Easter egg traditions.

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There's not a single mention of Americans "dyeing potatoes" in this entire article, except for the title and an allusion to a youtube video explaining how to dye potatoes. That's it. Who comes up with these ridiculous titles? Oh right, robots.
- Americans are dyeing ONIONS confirmed.
  
  Cutting potatoes makes Americans cry, got it.
  
  I can give a more creditable source.
  
  My co-worker dyed her hair this week; I can confirm Americans are now dying their hair for Easter.
  
  I recently heard America has the Guinness World Record for most dyed onions in roundabouts.
- The lack of any photos of anything other than dyed real eggs and an instagram post from a cooking blog showing off their nicely decorated chocolate eggs is also a big tip off.
Potatoes for the Rockefellers, Carnegies, and Morgans, maybe. We have to forage for pinecones and dip them in reddish mud and/or blackish mud if we want anything close to resembling an Easter egg hunt.
Literally not the onion

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