Clean butt

I got onboard the bidet train during the Covid lockdown. Simple to add on at my apartment. It was my #1 request when I moved to my GF's house. We replaced the whole toilet with the upgrades.

"Hey, if some caked-up mud pie got on your face, would you just wipe it off with a dry piece of tissue and call it a day? No! You'd wash it. So why is your butthole any different?" - Detective Allen Gamble, 'The Other Guys'

Reading this on a toilet without a bidet :(

Please send your prayers

Bidets are amazing. If you don't have one you should go buy one, they start fairly low priced

I like the bidet's we have at home, but I don't get the ones that are separate from the toilet. Saw this type when visiting San Juan, PR once. Their plumbing system can't handle toilet paper very well, so it's all bidets with a stack of washed towels.

Not only do they take up extra space in the bathroom, but are you supposed to waddle over to this thing with a dingleberry hanging out? I don't get why you'd want that.

The one argument I've heard in their favor is from people with vaginas who don't like the idea of the built-in sprayer catching bits of poop that'll get in their cootch.

So, maybe I'm missing something here, but bidets don't seem all that great? Everyone on the internet is always proclaiming life changing experiences with these things. However, when I recently used them they don't seem to do very much. My butthole is still poopy and when I wipe to dry my ass the toilet paper tears.

Why is my ass always itching?

Because you don't wash it, you dumbass.

Had my first experience of a bidet in Japan but not just that, the toilet seat was heated too, that was my first dump after landing

I got something like this for like 15 euros from a German shop but I'm sure you'll find it everywhere. I payed a little extra for stainless-steel instead of plastic. It's still incredibly cheap and my family uses it daily for years. I don't need any more luxury.

An actual shit post lol

I read Biden 😢

I’ve brought bidets awesomeness in groups before.

It is immediately apparent who is “in the club” and who is not.

My friend has one of those Japanese ones. It also has a warmed toilet seat. When I came out, I said that seat is amazing and they said people never come out of there. I proposed that they were napping on the seat. Why do seat warmers feel so good? The thing is, I could never figure out how to make the actual bidet part work. I suspect the people who took a long time were also trying to test it out, but didn't know how. Or maybe they did and enjoyed it?

Me

Remember you don’t have to clean your whole ass. You just have to clean your ass’s hole.

I was literally getting my ass sprayed when I opened this meme.

Clean butt club!

24/7, Orchard fresh, my dude. I've OPTIONS.

I'm using one of those hand squeezer bidets and yes, it's great. Ever wiped your ass until it was sore? That's because some little shit pebbles refuse to get out. With a bidet you can shoot those motherfuckers directly out of your rectum.