Remindes me of the time when I read Ernesto Cardenal who described himself as poet, priest and revolutionary (he meant it in the socialist sense). It isn't a contradiction, you just talked to the wrong Christians
And the the next day they decide to completely disavow you. Well me anyway.
Maybe it's the constant emphasis on failure in Christianity and the unobtainable goals that are set? Maybe a numbness builds where people become comfortable saying things and going through ceremonious motions that are completely disconnected from their actual lives? You become able to project self-loathing and lose any sense of remorse or empathy. I dunno but man I feel this post.