In the early 80s, American scientists and engineers produced the smallest precision drill bit ever created. With great pride and fanfare, they sent it to their West German colleagues for study and reproduction.
Just days later, the engineering team received a parcel. In it, a note: "Thank you for letting us test our equipment" and the original drill bit with a hole drilled through its center.
To explain the joke, as is tradition in Germany. "To meet" translates to "treffen" in German. Which can also mean "to hit something or somebody".
Once had a multicultural family gathering where we translated the same joke into several languages.
A man knocks at a door. A woman opens and he says: "Hello, my name is Toulouse. I'm here to fuck your daughter." The woman screams: "To what?!?" He answers calmly: "Toulouse."
I used to work with a couple Czech dudes. One day my coworkers and I were badgering the one dude to tell us a Czech joke. He was pretty reluctant because he said he could only really think of one joke but wasn't sure it would translate well. When he finally told us the joke he got us with this masterpiece.
Two balloons are floating along, one says to the other and hey look a cactus.
All of us were confused by this, he told us it was much funnier in Czech because balloon and cactus sound similar so it's a pun. So we had him tell us the joke untranslated in Czech and balloon and cactus sound nothing alike.
I'm still not sure if this dude was fucking with us.
The farmer and the farmhand are out in the field working. Suddenly the sky closes in and it looks like rain. The farmhand says to the farmer: "If we don't hurry now, we'll get soaked here." The farmer says to the farmhand: "Then go into the house and get my wellies!" The farmhand says: "Why me? Why don't you get your wellies yourself?" The farmer looks at the farmhand angrily and asks: "Who’s the farmer? Who’s the Farmhand?"
The farmhand goes into the house in a rage. The farmer's wife and her pretty daughter are sitting at the kitchen table. The farmhand says to the two of them: "The farmer said you two should get naked so I can fuck you." The two women look at each other. The farmer's wife is surprised: "No, I don't believe that. The farmer would never say something like that, would he?" "Yes, he would," says the farmhand. "But I can ask again just in case." He goes to the kitchen window and opens it. The farmer's wife has followed him and is standing next to it. The farmhand shouts out into the field: "Farmer, both of them?" The farmer looks at the window and shouts back: "Both of course, you idiot!"
German humour is no laughing matter!
One of my favorite Filipino jokes:
Why didn't the priest go swimming in the ocean? Because it's salt water.
"Salt water" in Tagalog can be translated as "tubig asin," which sounds like the English "too big a sin." Many Filipino jokes rely on Tagalog and English like that.
Here's another (putting original Tagalog because it's kind of relevant):
May joke ako tungkol sa airport kaso NAIA ako eh hehe.
English:
I have a joke about the airport, but I am NAIA (Ninoy Aquino International Airport) hehe.
NAIA sounds like "nahiya," which means "shy," so it would sort of translate to "... but I was shy."
One translated from Norwegian:
"Once upon a time... But now it's a corridor"
I'll supply the original and an explanation:
"Det var en gang... Men nĂĄ er det en korridor"
"Det var en gang" is literally "It was a time/an instance", and it's the main way every fairytale starts in Norwegian. But "gang" could also mean hallway.
An angry Ontarian calls a radio show, and complains about all the Newfies coming to Ontario to take the good jobs. "We aughta build a wall to keep them Newfies out!"
Next call to the radio show is a newfie: "Owshegettinonb’y? Ye by's be havin' any jobs bildin tha' wall or wha'?"
(How are you doing? You guys have any jobs building that wall, or what?)
These two are from Romania, specifically about people from Ardeal (the region encompassing Transylvania) - which means they're aimed at the fact that people from Ardeal are slow (haha, so funny, Southerners...):
- John and George were out on the field reaping all day and were heading back to the village. Suddenly, it starts raining fiercely, so they huddle under some walnut trees and decide to spend the night there in case it wouldn't let up.
Later on, while sleeping, George is suddenly woken up by a foul smell. "John," he said softly, "did you fart?"
"No, George, must've been the dog."
"Oh, ok."
A couple of minutes pass, then George suddenly has a realisation: "John, the dog isn't here, though..."
"Oh, don't worry," says John half asleep, "I'm sure it'll turn up eventually."
- John, George and Mary were at the bus stop, waiting for the bus. They've been there for half an hour, sitting.
"The bus isn't coming," John says softly.
After a couple of minutes, George replies matter-of-factly: "it'll come, I'm telling you."
A few more minutes pass, then Mary chimes in: "if you two keep arguing, I'm walking home."
Girl goes to a store and asks: "do you sell pantyhoses?". The salesman replies: "why? Do you have half an ass?"
That's sadly the funniest German joke I've ever heard, I mean the punchline is there, but the set-up isn't, meaning it's closer to what I recognize as a joke than most Germanic Humor.
Edit: Nope, funnier German jokes are in this comment chain, I'm in a good mood today
The pot is lauging because the boiler is black.
Here a joke my english teacher always told us:
What says a Saxon in New York when he wants a Christmas tree? .
A tännchen, please.
The saxon "a tännchen" sounds in english like: attention
