Is has all the nutrients the body needs

May I also suggest, even easier than saltines, a nice tall, refreshing glass of water? The perfect meal replacement for those times when you're too busy (or poor) to eat!

Water, like from the toilet?
- Ooh la la Mr. Fancy I Have A Toilet Man. No, WATER, like from a puddle on the sidewalk.
- Can't afford Brandow.
- Also sh.itjust.works !
I'll 1up you. Take half a sleeve of saltines and put them in a big glass. Pour chocolate milk in the glass until it is half full and stir until thick.

Bottoms up.

On an unrelated note, I disgust my wife.
- Who hurt you
You greedy communist! If you do that, then Nestle can't bottle up all that fresh mone--I mean, water, up and help the free market!

My dad eats saltines with butter. Not peanut butter. Butter butter.

Are you my kid?

Hey, empty the dishwasher.
- Maybe he’s my kid. We should do a DNA test.
It is good, like eating a buttered roll but crunchy.
My Grandma taught me to butter the saltines when we have Chili and to scoop a little chili on the butter saltine. I might need to make some chili tonight now haha
- My grandma taught me to wash and reuse ziplock bags.
I know I sound disgusting, but sometimes I eat saltines and straight up dip them in/scoop up butter like it's a dip. It's good.
I do that but I dip them in my tomato soup.
That’s basically a Ritz but simpler.
I used to eat white rice with butter. Add salt or sugar depending on mood.
It was difficult for me to not downvote this comment haha
- For the disgust or an implied perception I think it's gross? 🤔
  
  FWIW: I don't dislike it; but I prefer PB.
I mean, American butter or European?
- Europe has their own butter too?
I used to do this, but between a pair of saltines and with margarine rather than butter.

I never claimed to be healthy.
It goes great with chicken soup!
That doesn't sound bad.

Man... I have to not buy saltines because I will literally just eat a sleeve plain.

I can just sit and eat a whole box of Triscuits if I'm not stopped, so I never buy Triscuits in any of their wonderfully delicious flavors.
I'll eat a whole damn box before i realize what I've done. One day it's gonna catch up to me and I'm gonna be the next person on my 600lb life

Image Transcription:

An image of an unopened sleeve of saltines with text over it. The text at the top reads: off work late? hungry, but too tired to cook? try eating sleeve of saltines The bottom text reads: you certainly will not regret eating sleeve of saltines

[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]

good human

Unsalted saltines are just wrong though.

Those are just "ines"
It’s like some sort of absorbent material used to clean up spills
- It's basically wallpaper paste.

My cats will try and murder me for these, they give no shits about any other crackers or human non-meat food, but I’ve had one literally try and eat one out of my mouth. Makes me question what’s really in them….

A lot of animals are hyper attracted to salt, that could be it. I know a deer will lick your dried piss off a rock for some salt from my days camping.
- That's really not good for cats iirc; I think they're super sensitive to salt
Had a cat that dearly loved noodles. Would climb all over you for a strand of spaghetti.

I love a good sleeve of saltines and I’m a grown ass man with a family and house and all that jazz.

I too love sleeve of saltines.

Usually with cheese.

I would much rather....drink 3 beers!

Thanks Andy Richter, miss you buddy!

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Anyone still do the 4 saltines in 1 minute challenge? No drinking!

nah i do the 4 sleeves in 1 hour challenge
It sounds so easy. I don't understand why I can't do it.

Unfortunately, I can’t eat wheat so I would severely regret eating a sleeve of saltines. Non-immunogenic saltines though, sure!

Honestly saltines are probably the only food I can imagine made of wheat where alternatives made of literally anything else will be the same eating experience

Don’t forget to add meat, cheese, beans, hot sauce in any combo!

Ok, I know you like saltines but have you tried...

R A T I O N S ! ?

Mmm saladas

I can eat reams of Zesta saltines by themselves. I’ve tried multiple varieties and nothing comes close.

my gramma only ever had zesta, too. but always stored in a (now antique, i'm sure) metal nabisco premium tin.

mm mm nothing does my body better than sleeve of saltines

Just thought you all would like to know I'm watching the cracker episode of Good Eats.

Tried to watch it. Why do I have to pay to see it?

It doesn't have everything the body needs.

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I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.

This, but make it a Ritz cracker mmmm