May I also suggest, even easier than saltines, a nice tall, refreshing glass of water? The perfect meal replacement for those times when you're too busy (or poor) to eat!
58 0 ReplyWater, like from the toilet?
40 0 ReplyOoh la la Mr. Fancy I Have A Toilet Man. No, WATER, like from a puddle on the sidewalk.
29 0 ReplyCan't afford Brandow.
6 0 ReplyAlso sh.itjust.works !
2 0 Reply
I'll 1up you. Take half a sleeve of saltines and put them in a big glass. Pour chocolate milk in the glass until it is half full and stir until thick.
Bottoms up.
On an unrelated note, I disgust my wife.
20 0 ReplyWho hurt you
22 0 Reply
You greedy communist! If you do that, then Nestle can't bottle up all that fresh mone--I mean, water, up and help the free market!
18 0 Reply
My dad eats saltines with butter. Not peanut butter. Butter butter.
50 0 ReplyAre you my kid?
Hey, empty the dishwasher.
38 0 ReplyMaybe he’s my kid. We should do a DNA test.
1 0 Reply
It is good, like eating a buttered roll but crunchy.
27 0 ReplyMy Grandma taught me to butter the saltines when we have Chili and to scoop a little chili on the butter saltine. I might need to make some chili tonight now haha
11 0 ReplyMy grandma taught me to wash and reuse ziplock bags.
2 0 Reply
I know I sound disgusting, but sometimes I eat saltines and straight up dip them in/scoop up butter like it's a dip. It's good.
7 0 ReplyI do that but I dip them in my tomato soup.
6 0 ReplyThat’s basically a Ritz but simpler.
4 0 ReplyI used to eat white rice with butter. Add salt or sugar depending on mood.
3 0 ReplyIt was difficult for me to not downvote this comment haha
1 0 ReplyFor the disgust or an implied perception I think it's gross? 🤔
FWIW: I don't dislike it; but I prefer PB.
1 0 Reply
I mean, American butter or European?
1 0 ReplyEurope has their own butter too?
1 0 Reply
I used to do this, but between a pair of saltines and with margarine rather than butter.
I never claimed to be healthy.
1 0 ReplyIt goes great with chicken soup!
1 0 ReplyThat doesn't sound bad.
1 0 Reply
Man... I have to not buy saltines because I will literally just eat a sleeve plain.
35 0 ReplyI can just sit and eat a whole box of Triscuits if I'm not stopped, so I never buy Triscuits in any of their wonderfully delicious flavors.
9 0 ReplyI'll eat a whole damn box before i realize what I've done. One day it's gonna catch up to me and I'm gonna be the next person on my 600lb life
7 0 Reply
Image Transcription:
An image of an unopened sleeve of saltines with text over it. The text at the top reads: off work late? hungry, but too tired to cook? try eating sleeve of saltines The bottom text reads: you certainly will not regret eating sleeve of saltines
[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]
29 0 Replygood human
10 0 Reply
Unsalted saltines are just wrong though.
28 0 ReplyThose are just "ines"
44 0 ReplyIt’s like some sort of absorbent material used to clean up spills
12 0 ReplyIt's basically wallpaper paste.
4 0 Reply
My cats will try and murder me for these, they give no shits about any other crackers or human non-meat food, but I’ve had one literally try and eat one out of my mouth. Makes me question what’s really in them….
19 0 ReplyA lot of animals are hyper attracted to salt, that could be it. I know a deer will lick your dried piss off a rock for some salt from my days camping.
13 0 ReplyThat's really not good for cats iirc; I think they're super sensitive to salt
2 0 Reply
Had a cat that dearly loved noodles. Would climb all over you for a strand of spaghetti.
6 0 Reply
I love a good sleeve of saltines and I’m a grown ass man with a family and house and all that jazz.
19 0 ReplyI too love sleeve of saltines.
Usually with cheese.
2 0 Reply
I would much rather....drink 3 beers!
Thanks Andy Richter, miss you buddy!
10 0 ReplyHere is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/Rb1GZXL5PDY
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.
3 0 Reply
Anyone still do the 4 saltines in 1 minute challenge? No drinking!
8 0 Replynah i do the 4 sleeves in 1 hour challenge
7 0 ReplyIt sounds so easy. I don't understand why I can't do it.
3 0 Reply
Unfortunately, I can’t eat wheat so I would severely regret eating a sleeve of saltines. Non-immunogenic saltines though, sure!
6 0 ReplyHonestly saltines are probably the only food I can imagine made of wheat where alternatives made of literally anything else will be the same eating experience
1 0 Reply
Don’t forget to add meat, cheese, beans, hot sauce in any combo!
6 0 ReplyOk, I know you like saltines but have you tried...
R A T I O N S ! ?
6 0 ReplyMmm saladas
6 0 ReplyI can eat reams of Zesta saltines by themselves. I’ve tried multiple varieties and nothing comes close.
6 0 Replymy gramma only ever had zesta, too. but always stored in a (now antique, i'm sure) metal nabisco premium tin.
2 0 Reply
mm mm nothing does my body better than
sleeve of saltines
5 0 ReplyJust thought you all would like to know I'm watching the cracker episode of Good Eats.
3 0 ReplyTried to watch it. Why do I have to pay to see it?
2 0 Reply
Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=zuUtAPUZP0Q&
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.
1 0 Reply
This, but make it a Ritz cracker mmmm
3 0 Reply