Wallace.
Dude just wants to shut up and work, make it to retirement. You could probably engage him about his grandkids or his fishing trip if you wanted.
All the rest of them are gonna want to bother you with their problems or hobbies.
"Natural deodorant" is usually just a block of an aluminum salt crystal, which'll work just fine since that's the kind of stuff in "industrial" deodorants too. Stains more and dries out your skin though since you usually end up with way more of the stuff in your pits, which is sorta ironic I guess.
So I think I'd go with Shiloh or Dayzie?
I'll go with Lewis. Him and I can do a great duet with our farting generator.
Hannah: Get her to invite me to the wedding, meet her friends and all the social circle. Very helpful to grind that social experience
Caleb: dude is probably shredded and knows not only how to eat healthy, but, by comparison, will force you to eat healthy as well. Probably can help with grinding the social experience as well
Wallace: if you get him to open up and share his work experience, this could be the teaching of a lifetime. Also helps to grind the social experience as he probably has young nephews, and family gatherings to invite you
These 3 are my best choices
I've had Hannah, Caleb, Wallace and Susan.
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Hannah is annoying at first, but it will blow over.
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Caleb will talk about sports and that will be all he talks about. You can tune him out, but he will learn to hate you, because you don't value his feats of manliness.
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Wallace is ok at first, but becomes really tiresome. His worldview is from 1920s, blatantly racist and doesn't realize it, judges you constantly according to some stereotype that is based on some guy he knew 100 years ago and gives you occasional corrective sermons that make no sense, because they are for that guy he once knew.
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Susan appears to be ok, but is a psycho. Will try to manipulate you and delegate stuff to you, even though doesn't even work in for the same department. Everything is a thing that will be decisive to your career and soon marks you down as a looser, because you don't listen to her. Will leave the company, because everyone is a looser.
Edit: so anyone in the top four. Office already stinks and on music is allowed.
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I'd be fine with several of these.
Brice: I've never understood people's distaste for that smell. I won't microwave tuna in an office because I know others don't like it, but it wouldn't bother me.
Wallace: probably has some great stories, but also likely wants to shut up and get things done. Great combination if handled correctly.
Shiloh: hey, you can play anything on your headphones, I'm cool with that. But if you want to play stuff on speaker it's only fair that we play 50/50. (My secret: I could totally do up to 75% Radiohead)
Dayzie: again, not a smell that tends to bother me.
Wallace. Bet he's seen some shit.
All of the above. Let's party!
Anyone but Brice, tbh.
- Idk what’s supposed to be bad about getting engaged
- Everyone farts
- I like Radiohead
- Natural deodorant works fine for a lot of people
- Most people I’ve known who do crossfit have been very aware that talking about it is a meme
- Dudes who are super old and still working tend to be fun
- HR folks have a lot ot useful info for getting the most out of your employment
Edit: I will decline Wallace, too, actually. As fun as he might be, at 100 there’s a pretty good chance he’ll die on the job and I don’t wanna deal with that.
sdklf;gjkl;dsgjkl;dsgjkl;dsgsjkl;g
Kinda wanna have Susan in your corner, tbf.
I get to work in an actual office (*_*) with walls?
Also... Wallace.Ah the scenarios we are forced to imagine with back to office mandates. I'll go with Dayzie because we have similar ideologies about deodorant and I can't wait for someone to complain to Susan so I can be oppositionally defiant.
Dayzie obviously
I’d share an office with Brice only so I could steal his lunch every day, open it, and dump it into a sealed trash can.
Dayzie or Wallace. They both seem pretty easy.
Uno reverse challenge: It's your job to allocate two of these people to the same office, and if one of them quits, gets fired, or dies you get that office to yourself. Which two do you pair up for the fastest vacancy and why?
I eat an insanely high protein diet and I crossfit regularly... "I'm not locked in here with you, You're locked in here with me!"
I would get Shiloh but I bet he talks in math and buzzes like a fridge
Lewis or Wallace. or both, so I can have fun hearing them fight
You shouldn't steal memes from the meme museum
Jacksepticeye
Disturbing lack of DEI on this meme
I wear all-natural deodorant too. It's microwaved-tuna flavoured.
Definitely Wallace
How does no one want to work with Brice? That seems manageable
Anyone but Susan.
I'll take Hannah, Shiloh, Caleb or Wallace, and some noise canceling headphones.
The subtle just under the surface love-hate passive-aggressive interplay between Dayzie and Brice (if you're lucky, culminating in some kind of passionate-beyond-their-control office affair between them) would make that pair the most interesting to have as colleagues in the long run, IMHO.
Susan and Wallace >>>>>
I still get a kick that they lifted the picture of Common Man for "Brice": https://www.971thefan.com/show/common-man-and-t-bone/
I want to pick both Hannah and Shiloh and see how the situation develops from there.
Wallace or Shiloh.
If the worst part of Dayzie is possibly smelling bad, then I'll take her. I work with someone now who is Indian. Great guy, but I try not to get close... being a cube or 2 away, I barely smell it, so this seems like the best option. Plus, she looks cute. Sorry if that's offensive to say or inappropriate these days, but oh well.
Lewis's real name is Sean McLoughlin, and I would not mind sharing that office.
Time to quit.
Bryce, don't mind me the smell o tuna.
Wallace, clearly. Also Shiloh likes Gary Numan based on the jumper, and you can't like it without listening to it.
Known farter because I can assert dominance
I could do in a four person office with Shiloh, Dayze, and Wallace.
Yeah this is an easy Shiloh angle for me. I’m down for some Radiohead every now and then, and when I’m not, that’s what noise cancelling headphones are for.
shiloh seems fine, walice is probably sound.
Susan.
Dayzie or Lewis, everyone smells, who cares
Meh Dayzie or Caleb, I don't use deodorant and I do a bunch of exercise. Exercise then shower, and I have a smell, but it doesn't smell bad. Most people just smell like people unless they aren't taking care of themselves.
Wallace
Wallace, if he isn't a dick about weed smell.
Either Dayzie or Brice. Cannot smell, so neither of them would be bad, but the sounds Lewis might make would be distracting and outright disgusting on their own.
