As a former deli slicer operator, I just wanna say this would have made my day and I'd be so much happier to hear 5 vs "shaved" which was a hell sentence for bastards.
5 is sending me. 5 is alive. 5 is freeing me from pain.
I get roast turkey from the deli for my cats. I always tell them "shaved as thin as possible". I know it sucks and I'm sorry. But if the cats get big pieces they'll take it elswhere in the house to eat it and sometimes forget about it and then I find 2 month old rotting turkey behind the couch.
This reminds me when I was at a coffee shop where I ordered some hot coffee drink with milk. I don't remember what kind it was, but the barista brought out a big cup with a small coffee shot in it. Then she said something which I somehow didn't hear, so I just nodded and said "yes". She started pouring the milk into the cup. I just watched.
She continued to pour. Slowly.
After a few seconds, she raised her eyes up to me, still pouring the milk. I was starting to wonder how much milk this drink was supposed to have. I could see her starting to have more of a worried look while she filled up the last bit of the cup.
Finally she stopped. A full cup. I took the drink, said thanks and left.
When I tasted it, I noticed that the drink was incredibly weak. Then I realized that the barista had asked me to say stop, but I just made her basically make me a full cup of hot milk.
This was reported for potential harassment.
Just to clarify for other users, doctor's sausage is a Russian sausage.
It's pretty similar to saying "damn, you don't know spam when you see it? Shit.." (spam has a similar history...kind of)