Daddy

Even as a father I'll never understand the weird insecurity that dad's like this experience. Like, am I thrilled that my kid is eventually going to grow up to probably grind and smash with her boyfriends behind the Quiznos? Of course not. But being brooding and possessive about it is weird. Maybe even Alabama kind of weird.

I always find it interesting how some parents do this weird “don’t touch my daughter” but mix it with “give me grandkids!!”… like, you can’t have it both ways.
- Ah, but the doublethink is the point! Add in a lil religious hypocrisy, and oh baby you got a Southern American stew goin.
- Throw stick! No take! Only throw!
- These occur at different life stages for children
  Teenager years, "Don't touch my daughter." / "Don't impregnate anyone."
  Mid twenty and later, "Grandbabies please."
- Maybe they're just really pro-adoption (not enough to do it themselves, though)
- their daughter can have kids, but only in a mary and joseph kind of way
- Not with that attitude you can’t.
Ew, Quiznos? I expected better of you, son.

This is the first time I've come across this statement..... Do dads in America actually say that?

it, or a variation of it, has been in some movies/tv.
never had a date's dad say anything remotely similar to me though.
- When I was 13-14 I had this best friend, named Amber. I was terribly gay, and she dreadfully lesbian. Neither one of us had admitted it to the other, or even really ourselves. But there was a connection, and everyone just assumed we were dating. Including her dad, who spent most of his time overseas. Former military, and now he's over there with some private fucking army or some shit. Absolutely terrifying man. Divorced from her mom, but stays with them whenever he's stateside.
  Anyway, her mom had met me once or twice, but never in the context of us dating, which we had basically decided to just go along with. Her dad came home one week, and I was so freaked out about meeting him, because I'd heard all these stories. I went over to get her, and her dad told me to come inside.
  Dude was freaky, kind of an asshole, but no over protective dad shit.
  Then her mom came in the room, dad asked her if she'd met "Amber's boyfriend"
  Mom was like, "yeah, but he didn't tell me he was dating my daughter"
  And then she looks me dead in the eye, and with witnesses tells 14 year old me "listen, tubby, if she ends up pregnant I'll fuck your ass with her father's rifle so hard you'll spit bullets"
  Her mother is so much more terrifying than her father. Super Catholic, super scary, super Chancla energy
- Oh I have. I had a coworker who used to brag that when his daughter had a date, he would open his garage door and start cleaning his guns so the kid would see him.
- I had an uncle say shit like this to me. Weird family.

So if she blows you..?

He's absolutely a truth seeker