“Snowperson” and Other Updated Holiday Terminologies That Are Guaranteed To Incite Pointless Rage in Your Shitty Uncle

The highlight of the article is:

“Italian Rainbow Cookies = Luigi’s Cookies

Because in this house? Luigi is a hero. And, as respectfully as possible, a sex symbol. By “house” I mean whatever building I’m physically in when I see Italian Rainbow Cookies.”

Snow isn't rain, angels aren't plasma, and "averageheightbread" doesn't track. On those three I'll take the side of your Uncle Dimwit. Pretty hard to top "snowperson" though./