Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world Flying Squid @lemmy.world 2mo ago

Christmas message from Batman

28 comments

If Batman were a realistic Billionaire, he'd buy Wikipedia to "set the record straight".
- If Batman were a realistic billionaire, he'd be in league with Lex Luthor.
  
  I would, too. If I were a billionaire.
Even if he bathes every day, can you imagine how sweaty that suit must get? He probably does smell like a gym bag.
- Having to cover yourself in talcum powder every time you put on that rubber suit helps with that.
  
  Batman to Alfred every day:
- Really seals in the flavor
I always thought "Robin laid an egg" was wordplay for "Robin farted", especially because it comes after "Batman smells".
- If he laid an egg, I think he might have done more than just fart.
  
  yeah i'm not googling batman scat
- Robin farted
  
  That's how they translated it in French so I guess you're right
The ~~lady~~ Batman doth protest too much, methinks.
https://youtu.be/V5u9JSnAAU4 Relevant Tom Scott
So I take it the bells also do not jingle? :-P
- You’re correct. And also, Batman smells AMAZING.
  
  If guano smells amazing, then YES!
That's not very good for your skin, Bru- Batsy.
I have it on good authority that Batman has burrito-breath.
But does he jingon Bell's?
- If you mean jingle bells, no. The criminals would hear him coming a mile away if he did.
  
  No no, Haven't you heard the song from a proper 3 year old?
  
  Its clearly "jingon bells"
Yes but how does he gets his batsuits cleaned without giving away his identity, I doubt its cold wash only.
- Alfred has a lot of thankless jobs.
  
  Notice that the bat-filled cave where Batman bases his operations is suspiciously guano-free.
BATMAN, NO!

28 comments