Ladies & Gentlemen, It is with great embarrassment that I had a new experience rule

This is why I have a corded doxxy now :33

When you start using it only to relax sore muscles, you are officially old.

I've joint pains my entire adult life 😫

At least it gives me an excuse to get one... 👀
Wait there are ACTUALLY messagers? I thought those were exclusively marketing gags
- Oh, yah, it was developed by their medical equipment division. Also patented as a massager and was registered with the FDA as such. Then people realized what else it could do.
  
  The really funny part is that hitachi’s main business is heavy industry stuff; power plants, cranes, electrical infrastructure, jet fighters, trains, semiconductors, all sorts of stuff. But everyone knows them for that one time they made a massager that everyone uses as a sex toy.
- It was originally manufactured for relieving tension and relaxing sore muscles; however, it is most known for its use as a sex toy.
- They are very powerful vibrators, which is exactly what makes them good for massages. Main downside is that the muscles that most people would want to massage (back, shoulders, neck) are kind of hard to reach when you try to use it on yourself.

this is why you get a wired one

Then how can you use it while out for a jog?
- Lots of extension cords.
Seriously, they have a decently long cord and you can go for hours with zero chance of battery drop off ruining the moment…you know, unless that’s your sort of thing anyway.
- you can go for hours
  
  God damn, don't you women have shit to do?
- You can use the wireless one wired anyway, and it's literally just a direct upgrade to the wired in every possible way. There's really no reason to go with the wired one, it's just coasting on its legend tbh.
I have a wired and wireless and the wireless one has a much softer nice silicone head. The wired one does go a bit harder, but a little too hard sometimes. I use a router power limiter with a dial to limit it.

Works great on cis men, btw. What is a glans, if not a male clitoris?

I've never actually seen a cordless magic wand 🤔

Doesn't have the same vibration power as a corded. Not worth it, in my opinion.
- It's actually slightly more powerful than the corded if you keep it plugged in while using it, because it gets more powerful when it's plugged in and its max setting is higher than the original. The reputation for less power just comes from the fact that it offers much lower settings than the original had, but the max is 300rpm higher than the max of the original.
  Definitely the better option IMO. Way more maneuverability when there's no cord in the way and if you were gonna use it wired, it's better for that too anyway.
- I have a corded one and it's way more powerful than I need ...