I do this a lot. I get excited about stuff and go on these exuberant tangents and people think Iâm just talking down to them. Sometimes it causes people to ghost me and Iâve learned thatâs okay, I donât want to be around those people anyway
It's actually somewhat hard to be both, but dude when it happens one thing really adds to the other so much!
Most of us are are constantly masking among neurotypical folks and one of the reasons we do it is to not be seen as an asshole. If you actually are an asshole then you can also be yourself much more easily, which in turn often make you be seen as an even bigger asshole by them.
If you are just trying to share knowledge then you aren't an asshole. Those same people will do the same endless rambling about pointless sports statistics and how they made 3 touchdowns in high school or whatever thing they find interesting.
That's not how the autism spectrum works. For one what you're describing is a gradient not a spectrum and for two the autism spectrum is a spectrum of autism, not a spectrum of everything. To be on the spectrum you have to be autistic.
See, look at that - @some_guy showed up to generate the second half of the equation. He hasn't yet shown the capacity to form complete sentences, but he loves to follow me around downvoting after I told him his battle is with the troll within. Each time I see his downvote, it makes my day a little brighter knowing that no matter how hard he tries, he can't answer the arguments I've posed him, but they're still in his head, driving him to hunt me across the Fediverse, downvoting without commentary because he truly has nothing to say.
Religion For Breakfast and Esoterica on YouTube. There are a number of videos on Asherah stones found in pre-Israelite temples next to the Yahweh stones..
Willingness to info dump works wonders in a casual retail sales environment. Customers come up with what they think are silly questions, and I'll just give them as complete an answer as I can, engaging fully. Vast majority of them are greatly appreciative of it.
A few even come into my store specifically to find and ask me stuff.
Most people at my workplace actually appreciate the my thorough explanations. I did have an issue crop up with one of the juniors on my team though. He talked to my boss about it who then talked to me without naming me, but I explained the situation to my boss who presumably relayed it to the junior, and I eventually figured out it was him and was able to adjust accordingly.
The issue was that since I really was more technical advanced than him, thus my higher role, my tendency to explain issues so thoroughly including context he saw as obvious was leading him to believe I was intentionally patronizing him and mocking his inexperience.
At this stage I think it's smoothed over, simply with us settling on a mutual understanding. I take extra care to minimise info dumping and he keeps in mind that I'm not intentionally trying to insult his intelligence when I inevitably fail.
This kind of thing is why I rarely offer any advice or correction at work anymore unless it's a safety issue. If you stop someone from doing something dumb and wasteful before it happens, you're the asshole. Once they've screwed up all on their own, they're much more receptive to some patiently explained lesson based in experience, as long as you're kind and delicate. It can be hard to step back and not get immediately involved, especially when I know I'm going to have to deal with the fallout. I'm happy to drop everything and help anyone that asks, but they always get the introductory "Forgive me if I (because I probably will) tell you something obvious that you already know." Now I'm not the know-it-all asshole people are afraid to cross, I'm the laid back know-it-all that gets excited when people come to me with questions.
It is a constant struggle though.
It also involves waiting and really listening when people talk tangentially about something you have some weird interest in. The whole "me too! Let me add..." attitude is more often seen as mansplaining or one-upsmanship than sharing excitement. People don't usually that care what things you know unless they explicitly ask.
That's actually a really good tip! I still get criticised all the time for apparently trying to one-up everyone else and hog all the attention, and I've never been able to figure out how to prevent it. Maybe I need to point more focus into how I'm expressing a shared interest in something, because I definitely go to a "me too! Let me add..." approach by default.
I think this is just people being different and having different expectations of what an exchange should be like. I find myself in this situation pretty often
I call it geeking out when I do it. Usually a detail I think is amazing requires too much context to understand which I figure out only when I'm explaining the background and people's eyes glaze over. Then I make jokes that no-one gets like having Superstring Torpedoes in my Star Trek expy card game.
Not technically, but it could be a pattern that is indicative of autism. If you're interested in assessing yourself, here are a bunch of online tests that could give more clarity. However, no online test is sufficiently valid enough to diagnose autism. You need a thorough assessment by an autism specialist that uses a standardized scale such as the Autism Diagnostic Observation Scale-2 (ADOS-2) which takes hours and maybe even multiple visits.
I've been trying to relate to a group I'm in and lately it feels like everything I say falls on deaf ears. Or is outright ignored which is the more common outcome. I received some 'feedback' and since then it has felt bad. I can't relate to them in any way so my attempts to bridge that some and seeing them ignored feels extra bad.
If this is a group you don't have to socialize with, maybe consider not belonging to the group anymore. I'm concerned that you will change yourself too much to meet their expectations. If you have to socialize with them, then remember to hold your boundaries!
Oh for sure. I left on Friday because I was tired of feeling like they didn't want me there. Then today found out one of the people stabbed me in the back after leaving the group and it cost me a faux job of sorts. Just funny because whenever I let people into my circle they fuck me over as soon as it's convenient to them.
Sorry for slow reply. Lemmy wasn't putting up the notification until today.
To my observation, the allistic experience is to do the same thing except 1) you simply are immune to self-awareness and 2) the autistic people in your life are interested in hearing about whatever, or they let you know they're not