Texas Prevents People From Owning More Than 6 Dildos. Now Lawmakers Want to Ban Sex Toys at Walmart.
Texas Prevents People From Owning More Than 6 Dildos. Now Lawmakers Want to Ban Sex Toys at Walmart.
Texas is the land where regulation is always second, or so they say. However, it’s also a state where politicians have chosen to regulate oddly specific...
Yes. Texas bans the possession of or promoting use of more than six dildos.
It does make exceptions for people who have the multiples of the device for medical and law enforcement purposes.
Lmao. Police officers can legally use an array of didos for 'law enforcement'.
You'll be arrested if you cheer them on for it tho...
BUT if you can prove it's medically necessary; you're welcome to have a cornucopia of rubber cocks.
*trying to buy salad ingredients for the family cookout*
The cashier: sorry state prevents us from selling more than 5 cucumbers at a time.
The One Star State is at it again. "Freedom" there is not really a thing since the government obviously owns the citizens.
Look, I have SIX perfectly fine dildos, all in their individual velvet pouches. My grandma even gives me a knowing wink when she sees them on my nightstand (she's very with-it, my grandma). But the minute I walk into Walmart and snag NUMBER SEVEN - BAM! 💥 The world implodes. Little Timmy starts twerking in the cereal aisle, the self-checkout beeps incessantly with unholy vibrations, and a rogue bag of gummy worms spontaneously transforms into a life-size silicone replica of the Lone Star State... it's CHAOS, I tell ya! This clearly-reasonable six-dildo limit is PROTECTING our precious Texas innocence. Seven just unleashes the primal urges, and nobody wants that, especially not while picking out a new can of Copenhagen. 🤠
#SixIsTheMagicNumber #TexasStrong #ProtectTheInnocence (and the Gummy Worms)
So... are there like, auditors? Does the government pay someone to go around and inventory peoples' sex toys? Do you have to register your devices? Are they serialized? Do you have to report them on your state tax return?
Who are these
peoplewhackjobs that spend so much time thinking about what other people are doing in their bedrooms?Besides banning the sale of sex toys, the Texas Obscenity Statute also specified the number of “obscene devices”—for example, dildos—a person could own: six. The number was not chosen at random, but rather because lawmakers assumed that people who owned more than six obscene devices that were identical or similar had the intent to distribute them.
Theoretically, it should be possible to have more than six obscene devices without by guilty of intending to supply them - cock ring, butt plug, fleshlight, dildo, strap-on, inflatable sheep, Ben Wa balls, nipple clamps and penis cage. All have different uses, all without intending to supply.
If supply was the concern (although I don't know why), perhaps criminalise that not the bottom drawer of my bedside table.
IANAL, but this law is (probably) not currently enforceable due to (among others) Lawrence v. Texas.
However, that was explicitly named as being on the chopping block, so at best it's "not enforceable yet"
And yet they have such unearned pride as a bastion of freedumb.
Need to make a proposal to limit cross walls to a maximum of 6 crosses.
If you get caught, just say its The Salad Mixxxer.
Texas is weird.
For those curious to read the penile penal code see 43.23(f): https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/Docs/PE/htm/PE.43.htm#43.23
Someone needs to make a Swiss army dildo.
The lawmakers are afraid of the competition
Policemen Josh and Wade showing up to a party:
Josh: "Alright Wade, let's make sure there are not more than 6 erections in there."
Pretty sure you can’t be married more than 6 times either. Coincidence? I think not!
Texas is ran by dildos so this is really just thinly veiled self preservation at this point
At first I was like "barbaric", but then I thought to myself that 6 dildos per person sounds abundant. I've decided to believe that they were about to fight an owner of 7 dildos and implemented that ban to reduce their power. Like "there are 7 of us and you have only 6 dildos what are you going to do" because the 7th dildo would be illegal.
And yes I know that the grounds of this ban are absurd and barbaric, I do wish hunger and pestilence upon those who voted it in, it's just that any discussion regarding it had to be hilarious. What are they trying to prevent by restricting the access to 7th dildo, gang wars?
Oh, good. Bob is still safe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fZkTd2-dAE (or your friendly privacy friendly service preferably)