In other news at a gas station near by...

Here's the article. According to the story, there were two people panhandling and using drugs; they were asked to leave. One threw a rock at the employee's car window, shattering it, and then threatened to shoot him. The video also says the person was shot because he lunged at the employee. I hope the truth comes out and the situation is handled appropriately.

how is this a shitpost and not just, y'know, horrifying?

As a commentary on the daily "Florida man" level of weird shit that happens in Seattle, shooting a guy for getting drugged at your establishment is getting the the purge line. So here I propose that the level be escalated. Couldn't a well drugged fella find revenge for his compatriot who's been wrongfully ended by a shop keeper? But the sarcasm brings the reader to reality when the drugged guy can't even get revenge by attacking the closest thing to the enemy he could find. Instead, the cat gets a good 8 inches shorter and distributes it's inner contents on the owner's driveway.

One could end the commentary here, but I suppose there is a million other ways the situation could escalate. Like maybe 🤔 migrants who might be homeless start getting tragedies at random. And maybe that shifts over to just normal people who look like homeless migrants...blah blah...this just in! Super model dressed in homeless migrant fashion gets KO'd by gas station owner. It turns out she was just gonna pay for a Twinkie. Just like that, Seattle gets 0.00001% weirder.