This toilet attachment uses AI and a team of physicians to photograph, analyse, and report the full scoop on your poop

Apologies for the shitposting.

Save yourself some money and privacy, and just learn about the Bristol Stool Scale for free (which is all this thing is using).

This is just a camera connected to some LLM that tells you if your poop is a healthy shape or color. Unless this thing is sampling your stool, it's not going to tell you anything you can't figure out with your own eyes. It isn't going to be diagnosing your vitamin deficiencies or catch early signs of colon cancer.

Or you could just eat healthily and take a good look at your prize logs before you flush. One doesn't [need] a piece of tech to determine whether you should have eaten that week-old meal you left hiding in the back of the fridge.

Even the author agrees.

ETA: Also, if you have the money to spend on this, go buy a nice bidet. Better use of your money.

Smart Pipe Inc. is a registered sex offender

EDIT: My god, they kind of predicted NFTs with this one as well. A literal throw away line of being able to redeem usage points for a 'digital poster for my digital poster wallet.'

Having AI to analyze your turds 300$ and 96$/y

Saying "hell naw I shouldn't have had all that taco bell and beer this weekend" Free

What is this shit?

Toilet subscriptions is definitely some dystopian nonsese

We're going to need a new word for when all this data on your poo leaks.

It's Dr Toilet! Finally!

So, the Internet of Shit is not just a euphemism now. Great...