Did any other trans people have trouble dropping your cis persona?

I've acted like a cishet man for so long I don't know how to stop

I feel like almost every social interaction I have nowadays except with really close friends is just a complete reflex to be this fake guy I made up

It's especially bad when I talk to men so I'm also mostly avoiding all my male friends but obviously I would rather not do this

I don't even know who I am anymore