Something in particular that drives me up the fucking wall

My mother has a neurological condition. This condition makes her feel like at times, her feet are being stabbed. Of course this isn’t happening irl, but the majority of decent people wouldn’t tell her that “facts don’t care about the fact that her brain makes her feel like she is being stabbed”

So why don’t we apply this same reasoning to gender? If I say “I don’t feel X”, my concerns will be dismissed because I look like X.

Don’t even know how to make sense of this blatant contradiction