Also I suspect that some people assume that I feel hurt from being single. Some possible factors:
For people who are less able to put a lot of energy into a non-urgent task, I think perceived urgency would be more likely to be the first explanation that comes to mind when reading about my experiences, because avoiding projection is complicated for all of us.
It's hard for me to precisely describe mindsets that I have had, so I have used vague descriptions, and that might leave room for various interpretations. A severe example is when I used the phrase "almost like a goal".