Problem vs Solution Mentality

A few months back, we had a team dinner. My new skip was present, and I sat nearby for a chance to small talk.

She said:

I absolutely hate when people come to me with a problem. It's the worst possible thing you can do for yourself and your career. Only come to me when you have a solution.

In a lot of places, this attitude might come off as not caring, laziness, or harsh. But on a team of ex-FAANG engineers who all came from Ivy Leagues, the bar is a little higher.

I love discussing complex topics with friends, but I too hate when people just talk about problems. How are you going to solve it? If not you, who can solve it and how would they? If not that, what can you do as an individual to benefit from the situation?

The Problem Mentality

A younger friend of mine is going through an emotional relationship. Comments to the tune of "I didn't like your attitude during dinner", or "I don't feel like you're making me a priority".

The problem here is you're identifying issues, but expecting the other person to both make a the solution and execute it. You're running emotionally exhausted going nowhere.

Let's look at a few more examples:

• I can't sleep at night
• We're not going to get the project done on time
• Global warming is inevitable

The Solution Mentality

How are you going to solve it?

Going back to the relationship example, understand no one changes their attitude over night. Now we can clearly see this isn't even a problem the other party can solve; either break up, or focus on a proxy to solve the problem.

It doesn't matter if you're "in a long term relationship", you should do things that make yourself more desirable, and let the natural level of respect you earn go up. Whether this is reaching new goals academically or in your career, or even "hitting the gym", if you feel like your partner doesn't care about you, this will help change their mind. You can also follow the "Golden Rule", and treat your partner better first. On one hand, this sounds like gaslighting manipulation, on the other, "The grass is greener where you water it".

Notice how I'm not even addressing the "why should I do X when he needs to do Y" - That question is a derivative of the Problem Mentality. Go to the Solution Mentality.

Let's look at a few other examples:

• Sister married someone you don't like? Befriend them, you're in for a long ride
• Going to be driven to homelessness due to cost of rent? Start paying "what you can" - it makes eviction harder
• Don't know what to do with your life? Focus on making money so you have the opportunity to decide later
• Became wheelchair bound? Join wheelchair sports

Who could solve it?

Throwing this one in to address bigger questions. Who can solve the failing education system in Canada? How would they do it, and what could you do to help?

These are fun thought experiments that you shouldn't shy away from. Even if your think your answer is stupid, at least you're practicing solution brainstorming.

For fun, let's do this. One way to make the education system better is to pay teachers 300k a year, making it a very desirable job. Now more top (financially) motivated talent will consider a career in education instead, putting more smart people back in schools. Where will the money come from? Quick estimates show there's 400k teachers, so this would 2x the education budget and increase taxes by roughly 10%. Let's be real though; that's a small price to pay if the next generation of kids are all geniuses. To push for a change like this, you could meme about it online contact provincial reps and bring it up.

These examples are silly, but let's entertain them.

• How can we solve traffic congestion? Add friction to car usage so more people use public transportation -> Push for carpool lanes and tariffs on automobiles
• How can we reduce corruption? Hold politicians accountable -> Create a website that tracks politicians' corruption history
• How can we reduce crime? Help people get on their feet -> Donate to local shelters/food kitchens

How can you benefit?

Let's go back to daily life. My girlfriend was talking about the interest rates in the US and how it will ripple throughout the world. While it's interesting to talk about global trade and rent prices, there's one place I made sure to stop by in the conversation.

So what should we do?

"Buy hard assets, like gold".

Good. Actionable advice I can work with. Although I personally think gold is a terrible idea, I can work with the info she gave. You don't have to solve problems to benefit from them.

Let's look at a few more examples:

• Your company is going bankrupt? Network with your coworkers harder; they'll be jumping ship (statistically for more pay) as QoL goes down
• Worried your sports team will lose? Bet against them so you come out on top either way
• Global warming going to ruin your region? Insurance prices will skyrocket, so sell your house and lock in to rent control

Closing Thoughts

We covered practical and silly examples in this post. The key to remember is even when situation is shot, you can always do little things to stack the deck in your favor. It's not guaranteed to work, but over time the effort will leave you in a better place.