DirecTV to acquire rival Dish Network for $1, subject to regulatory approval

Fuck, I'll give 'em $2.

From a different article:

But DirecTV claims it "will benefit US video consumers by creating a more robust competitive force in a video industry dominated by streaming services owned by large tech companies and programmers."

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

From another article:

In a statement, DirecTV chief executive Bill Morrow said a merger between the two companies “will be better able to work with programmers to realize our vision for the future of TV, which is to aggregate, curate, and distribute content tailored to customers’ interests, and to be better positioned to realize operating efficiencies while creating value for customers through additional investment.”

Corpo-speak 101: how to use a lot of words to say absolutely nothing.

Now satellite TV will become even more unaffordable.