Elves would never

The Elves are going to the ships now, and they’re taking their bling.

I quite like how Dwarf Fortress treats elves with contempt. If you try to sell them wooden furniture, they sink to their knees and weep at the loss of life, vowing to never trade with you again.

Naturally, this leads to many players inviting an Elven caravan into their fortresses, sealing the doors shut, setting traps, and letting nature take its course

I'm literally shaking right now

I think OP lost a comma.