I hope you don't have any plans this evening.

Amateurs. Never put a date on your rapture predictions. Just say it is happening soon.

Thank god there is no ninth of hexadecember, so no worries.

It's almost 9pm where I am and there's no sign of it. Jesus better hurry his ass up if he wants to be on time.

But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

Matthew 24:36.

RTFM, noob.

Hi guys, its the 19th here in Australia already and I can confirm that I have been Left Behind to suffer heck on earth for being a sinner and Im super over it already.

Jesus better fucking come I've been jerking him off for like 20 minutes

It's true. I'm getting raptured right n

It's currently September 19th

I MISSED IT!?

9-18-24 9-19-24 9-20-24 9-21-24 9-22-24

I mean...if they keep this up they will be right eventually...right?

nonsense, there are only 12 months

They may have screwed up their ISO date format. They really mean it'll happen on the 9th day of the 18th month of 2024.

It tracks

so nobody can know the date of the rapture, and if someone figures it out god'll change it?

what if I make a website that just says "the rapture will be [current date +1]"

checkmate?

Not again

So I was justified when I left those dishes in the sink. Thank goodness. Thank you, Jesus.

Oh, shit! Who will water my plants?!

Good thing I tried pegging for the first time tonight then! Ticked that one off the bucket list just in time!

Post-Rapture looting anyone?

God, I wish God would actually just end this cringe already.

It's probably a coded message. Read it in the order of colors.

Jesus is rapture - 9-18-24 will on coming the happen.

It all makes sense!

Haha! Yeah right, this is like the ten thousandth time they've s

Can we go ahead and get the rapture over with so the rest of us can get some peace and god damn quiet?

What timezone is the rapture in?

Trying to decide if I should stay up and get some photos

Sorry, gonna have to miss the rapture, I have DnD this weekend.

Still the 18th here. Anyone know where I can buy some inflatable sex dolls and helium at this hour?

Can we reschedule? I have plans tonight

I didn’t get raptured, too much thc and alcohol in your system makes you too heavy for the angels to carry I think.

If all the good folk are gone though I sure hope for less traffic on my road trip this weekend. Praise jeebus? 🤷‍♂️

Jesus is having sex today.

HAPP EN

"Yes! I have the foresight to predict The Rapture^TM, but not the foresight to fit the words onto a cardboard sign..." lol

WTF! I missed it? Did every single Jehovah's witness drink the juice so they could fly into the spaceship or what? Postponed?

Spoiler alert: it's already happened, and all the virtuous people already ascended to heaven.

There were 666 likes to this post. I ruined it by turning it to 667!

again?

Shit, I missed it.

c/agedlikemilk

POV: It didn't happen

Oh man I'm here just waiting to look at jesus and say "Fucking took you long enough!! wtf you doing up there while I was working my ass off you fuck? I hope that linda bitch is not coming with us!"

I hope it's during work hour. Would be shame to do whole days work just to get eaten by the rising dead.

I think the rapture happened a decade ago and this is hell

Time to paint a new sign, methinks.

Is that why there's an abandoned pair of shorts in the parking deck? And here I thought someone was running around pantless.

Batting .000 here religious sign guy.

Imagine if what qualified to get raptured were believing in it. The world would be so much better without all those people!

ah fuck i missed the rapture again. guys how was it?

According to their own book, no man will know the day or the hour IIRC. So anyone who says they know, at all, is by default wrong, and you can guarantee that it won't happen at that time.

He's got the wrong date.

To quote late musician Peter Steele:

April 2029, the final time The end my friends is not near, the hour in fact is quite here ... It's a Friday 13th of course you won't live, to see noon. ... Are you paranoid what's on the asteroid has got your name tattooed on it? This stone's called Apophis And it brings apocalypse.

I would get letters from my grandma - long, winding beseeching me to come to the Lord or whatever, with often a specific date predicted in the near future of the end times. I never kept them because I was embarrassed. She was lonely and mentally ill, and probably trying to manipulate people into visiting her, but she also believed the shit she was saying, even though it kept changing, IMO.

I think that's a little bit of what is going on with these signs

The rapture probably did happen but nobody on earth was worthy.

Welp, I have only now seen this post on the 19.09.2024.

I guess I did not only miss the notification, but also the rapture itself.

I'm pretty sure my plans are fine. Jesus is going to take one look at us and turn around.

It's gonna be 10:12pm so we have time for a last meal still if you want before Jesus chucks everyone in the woodchipper. 😊

I wish

Jesus came, broke my fridge, and didn’t even leave a note. Asshole.

Oh please yes!

Surely MORE letters will fit in the same space! Haha, this is the first thing I thought of https://youtu.be/GMp-MVI6xDs?si=-fws95UURq5_ziRt

wordington rapture

Fuck no it ain't gonna happen, I gotta finish my studying so I can actually work fuck that

Meh.. I prefer the Zorp scenario